In this fairytale adventure, Wander and Sylvia work with Sir Brad Starlight, a heroic knight, to help save a princess from the evil dragon king. But along the way, Brad's rescue is constantly disrupted when Wander goes too far and ends up taking all the heroic duties to himself.
Prologue [ ]
What story are we gonna read today?
Ancient prophecy foretold,
That the beloved Princess Demurra
Would be kidnapped by King Draykor, the evil dragon king.
Who hungry for power, stole her away to his Labyrinth of Delusion!
And now, only one hero can rescue her: Her one true love.
And once he saves her, they will live happily ever after
And use their compatible features to produce
Many attractive offspring, who will also live happily ever after!
Brad Recruits Help [ ]
"Now, Draykor plans to wed Demurra at sundown."
"I beseech you kind travelers, will you help me save her so we may live happily ever after?"
"I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO SAVE A PRINCESS!!"
"LET'S GO SAVE A PRINCESS!"
"Who-o-oa, there, my furry fellow."
"I like your enthusiasm, but remember..."
If you're the hero, then what am I?
"You're my goofy sidekick."
"...and of course, sings my theme song."
"Who trudges, drudges, begrudges, and generally does all the heavy lifting."
Does this look noble to you?
"I don't just let anybody hop in..."
Too heavy if you'd ask me.
I'll get you for this, knight!
"Sylvia, come on! A princess is in danger!"
"But only 'cause we're helpin' a sister out!"
Now's the time for me to achieve my dream of saving a princess!
Starting the Quest [ ]
And so, our adventure begins.
Wander: (sings) "♪ I sing the tale of Brad Starlight, a worthy, brave, and daring knight! ♪"
"♪ He helped a crone to cross the street. ♪" ("Now more dangerous!")
"♪ Though it was lava 'neath his feet. ♪"
"Put in that I fought a bear, so they know how strong I am."
"♪ Heeeee wrestled large and scary bears. ♪"
"And come on, old crone?"
"Yuck! Make it a pretty lady!"
"♪ All to help a maiden fairrrrr! ♪"
"Heh, yes, she totally wants to smooch me."
"♪ Then his sidekick, brave and true -- ♪"
"Silence, silly sidekick. We're here."
The Labyrinth of Delusion [ ]
The Labyrinth of Delusion!
"Don't worry, princess, we'll save yoooooouuuu!!!"
"Uh, the prophecy says that the hero always leads the way?"
"Oh, gosh, I'm so sorry, of course."
"After you, Sir Starlight."
"That way is clearly a trap!"
"This is the correct path."
Facing Traps [ ]
The Sword of Destiny [ ]
Arriving at Draykor's Castle [ ]
Meeting Draykor and Demurra [ ]
The Tyranny of Brad [ ]
New Plan [ ]
The Wedding [ ]
The wedding bells are ringing!
Princess and Dragon are married
"And they lived happily ever after!"
"But real relationships take a lot of work."
"...and are sensitive to each other's needs --"
"We kinda sorta saved a princess!"
Now that is happily ever after.
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"The First Take " | "The Smile " | "The Killjoy " | "The Theme Song " | "The Bathroom Break " "The Planetary Conqueror " | "The Sharpshooter " | "The Glitch " | "The Caller " | "The Whatever " "The Big Finish "