Peepers: Nothing! We have nothing! No power, no planets, no plan! Dominator's obliterating the entire galaxy, and I've got no idea how to stop her!
Lord Hater: And she won't even go on a date with me.
Peepers: Sir, I'm sure being rejected by your most hated enemy that you're also in love with feels bad? But we really, really, really need a plan, and I can't believe I'm saying this, but I could really use your help!
Lord Hater: Yes! That's it!
Peepers: Really?! You know how to stop Dominator?
Lord Hater: Don't fret, C-Peeps, I have the perrrfect plan.
Peepers: Oh, thank Grop!
Lord Hater: I'm gonna finally go tell our neighbor to clean up his stupid lawn!
Peepers: With all due respect, sir, we came to Suburbon V to lay low. Dominator would never look for us in this boring cul-de-sac, thus making it the perfect place to hide while we formulate our plan to save the galaxy so we can take it over again.
Lord Hater: But that jerk has the messiest yard on the block and his leaves keep blowing onto our Rahh! He's doing it on purpose! [canned laughter]
Lord Hater: May have lost the galaxy but I'm not gonna let some dumb-wad neighbor mess with my turf!
Emperor Awsome: Whaddup, Neighbroham?
Lord Hater: Wha ? Emperor --
Emperor Awsome: Awesome in da cul-da-sizzy!
Lord Hater: Wha What? [groans] What are you doing here?!
Emperor Awsome: Oh, uh, totally not terrified and hiding from D-D D-Domi that lady villain and her horrifying, universe-ending onslaught and her fiery fiery fists, and don't let her get me! Nooo! [canned laughter] Oh, um, [clears throat] why are you here?
Lord Hater: Uh, totally not what you just said.
Emperor Awsome: Right. So. Wassup?
Lord Hater: Well, neighbor, I just wanted to come by and say clean up your filthy leaves!!!
Emperor Awsome: Please. She may be in charge up there, but down here, this is my cul-de-sizzy. So cross me and it'll be the end of the road, neighbor!
Lord Hater: Watchdogs, eyes up!
Emperor Awsome: Fist fighters, punch it!
Peepers: No! No powers, no armies, no fighting, or we'll be found out! Sir, is this one of those things where you obsess over something to cover up the real issue?
Lord Hater: Of course not! I just refuse to be publicly humiliated by Dominator I mean, Domineighbor! [canned laughter] Our dumb neighbor.
Peepers: [sighs] And there it is.OK, listen! Just stay on your side of the street, you stay on ours, and for everyone's safety, shake hands and be neighborly!
Peepers: No! No "Grrr"! Inside, both of you!
Peepers: OK, sir, new plan. What do we know about Dominator?
[leaf blower blaring] [chuckling]
Emperor Awsome: Clean enough for ya, neighbor?
[sighs] [growls] [chuckles]
Lord Hater: Raa!
Emperor Awsome: You're welcome!
Lord Hater: [growls] Raa! Raa! Raa! Raa! Raa! Raa! Raa! Raa raa raa raa raa
Peepers: Sir, please, this is pointless. We need to get some sleep and strategize fresh in the morning.
Lord Hater: Right right. In the morning!
[rooster crows] [bicycle bell rings]
Paperboy: Aw, good morning, Mr. Hater.
Lord Hater: Morning, Jimmy. [growling] Go on, Tim, do your business. Good boy, Captain Tim.
Peepers: [gasps] Yes! The plan! The plan!
Lord Hater: Yes the plan. Now Peepers, how can I help?
Peepers: Really, you're not gonna? What about Awesome?
Lord Hater: Ha! I've got a feeling Awesome won't be bothering us ever again. B-but how did he? The acid totally --
Peepers: Sir, now is not the time for a series of hair-brained competitive antics! It's plan time and I really need your help!
Head back to the cul-de-sac to find a little peace and quiet But my next door neighbor's getting on my nerves And now sparks are flying, it's Bad neighbors Bad neighbors Every time I go outside Bad neighbors Bad neighbors Every occupy for bad neighbors
[speed metal music]
[music plays louder]
[canned laughter] [audience cheering] Awesome!
Peepers: Mm-hm mm-hm, weld the tradwell to the fluxxor, supercharge the overthrusting oscillator, reflavven the aximus, and and Done! I think I finally solved it, sir! Sir?
Lord Hater: [grunting] Stupid wind! Bat must be crooked! Ball's not regulation! Too much gravity! [glass breaks]
Lord Hater: To get my bat?
Peepers: No! To give me your opinion on my brilliant plan and What is that infernal beeping?! [truck beeping]
Lord Hater: A moving truck? Awesome is moving out! Yes, I did it! I win! I win! I win!
Peepers: Now that I have your full, uninterrupted attention, allow me to present my plan to stop Dominator and take back the galaxy! Behold the one, the only --
[door bell rings]
Lord Hater: Oh, Awesome. I heard you were leaving and never ever ever ever ever eeeeever coming back. Welp, ta-ta, don't drop by anytime!
Emperor Awsome: The only thing I'll be dropping is the phattest of beats at my sick end of the galaxy barbecue! That's right. All the escaped villains will be there. The cool ones, anyway. If D Domin-aaahh if SHE! is gonna take us out, we're going down partyin'! We'll be using all the parking spots on the block, including your driveway, I'm running 14 hot tubs off your outlet. It's gonna be crazy loud, and it doesn't end until the galaxy does! [people gasp] Then everyone will know that Emperor Awesome is the greatest in the cul-de-sac. [applause] Oh, and just to be 100% clear, here's your "non invitation.
Emperor Awsome: Hasta!
Lord Hater: Rrrrrraaaaaa!
Peepers: No! No "Raaaaa".You are going to sit down, shut up, and behold my ultimate plan to stop Dominator! [music]
Lord Hater: Uhh--
Peepers: Gaaahh! I knew it! This is a terrible plan! A net? A net? She shoots lava! [cries]
Lord Hater: No, Peepers, this could actually work.
Peepers: [gasps] Really?
Lord Hater: Yes! If we simply replace Dominator with Emperor Awesome, we could totally ruin his stupid barbecue and I could become the greatest in the cul-de-sac!
Peepers: [screams] Aaaaah! [yelling] That's it! Who cares about the cul-de-sac? The galaxy is in danger! I've been asking for your help for days, but you'd rather waste your time playing pranks on a muscle-headed mackerel! Do you really wanna know how to stop that guy? [yelling] Just throw a better barbecue! Set the grill flame to 456 degrees! Food-to-guest ratio equals 3-Y to the N-power! Execute dÃ©cor protocol Omicron! Play "Hater's Chill Mix" at 64 decibels! Hot Sauce, lemonade, multiple spoons! Apron! Turn! Flip! Turn! Flip! Turn! Flip! And don't skimp on the cole slaw! Dinner is served.
Kragthar of Kraaaaagtttthh: Whoa! Check out Hater's place!
Emperor Awsome: What? Bros, you can't ditch me for that poser.
Lord Hater: Sorry, loser. Guess they're having too much fun over here with me: the greatest in the cul-de-sac! [canned laughter] Way to go, Peepers! Couldn't have planned it better myself.
Peepers: Wait. Do you mean to say this whole time, all your juvenile, pointless neighborhood one-upsmanship was all to inspire me, to break me out of my planning funk? You've taught me that whether it's stopping a powerful villainess or throwing the perfect barbecue, when the chips are down sometimes you need a small win to give you the confidence for a big win. Oh, thank you, sir!
Lord Hater: Uhhh, yeah. That thing you said.
Peepers: Watchdogs, eyes up! I may not have an exact plan to stop Dominator, but I'm confident I will!
Commander Peepers! [canned laughter] [bicycle bell rings]
Paperboy: Oh, hey, Mr. Awesome.
Emperor Awsome: Hey, Jimmy.
# Bad neighbors # Where do all the villains go When Dominator's drilled and dried Send 'em back to the Bad Guy cul-de-sac And watch the sparks fly, it's Bad neighbors Bad neighbors