(Episode opens by showing a planet with a kingdom on it.)
(Pans in to show a picture of Sylvia, widen to reveal a wanted poster with Wander and Sylvia's pictures on it. It says:
- For making Lord Hater look totally STUPID!!!
- And other punishable-by-death type stuff"
Four Watchdogs march by, Sylvia eats the poster and she and Wander look around seeing Watchdogs everywhere. Sylvia fidgets, then hides in a trash can in an alley, suddenly leaving Wander behind, she takes him)
(Cut to the trash can, the Watchdogs go by, one shining a flashlight in the alley. Sylvia peeks out.)
Sylvia: Good grop! This place is crawling with Watchdogs! We're gonna have to find a sneaky way outta here, and fast!
(She suddenly looks forward, zoom out to reveal Wander tying someone's shoelaces)
Wander: Let me tidy these up for ya. (finishes tying) Wouldn't want ya lookin' like a slob.
(Widen to reveal a garbage man as Wander pats his hands. Sylvia takes him)
(Cut back to the ally, Sylvia hides behind a dumpster)
Sylvia: (covering Wander's mouth) Wander, we are wanted fugitives, we've gotta lay low!
Wander: Well, I don't wanna lay low. When I see someone who's a-needin', I just gotta help! It gives me this feeling that... (close up of his feet, his left foot bulges) starts down in my left toe, (pan upwards as a lump rises up his body) rises up through my gutty works, (his heart sticks out and beats loudly) makes my heart all warm and toasty, (pan upwards to his face, his uvula bulges) floats up past the dangly thing in my mouth...
Wander: (the top of his hat bulges) And ends at the top of my head! (angelic choir voice) It just feels so goooood!
(On the last word, Wander floats upward a little and glows. Sylvia looks on in horror, she pushes Wander aside, revealing the "glow" was actually the beam from a Watchdog's flashlight. The Watchdog looks around, camera shows Sylvia hiding behind a wall pressing her hand against Wander's mouth. The Watchdog turns off his flashlight and walks away)
Sylvia: Phew. (hears slurping) UGH! (shakes Wander's saliva off her hand) Listen, I know helping folks is "our thing", but unless you wanna help yourself into Lord Hater's bony hands, you gotta measure just how important each good deed is. Keeping youself and your buddy out of an evil warlord's prison? Whooooop! (raises her arm and body high) High! Helping some guy tie his shoe? Ooooooop... (lowers arm and body) Low. Way low.
(A flashlight shines on them)
Watchdog: There they are!
(Wander and Sylvia zip out of frame, leaving behind dust clouds in their likeness. The episode's title appears; freeze-frame.)
(Cut to Sylvia running at top-speed with Wander in hand. They hide in a doorway to a house. Sylvia looks at something, camera cuts to her perspective, zooming in on a Watchdog's unattended ship)
Sylvia: Ya see that ship?
(Screen flashes, fade to show her plan)
Sylvia: (voiceover) I'm gonna sneak over there and hot-wire it, and when I give the signal:
Sylvia: (voiceover) You come runnin', and doo! We will blast off of this rock to safety.
(Screen flashes back to reality)
Sylvia: Now just stay here, and don't call attention to yourself, this place is crawling with Watchdogs. Got it?
Wander: (tips hat brim) Eeeeeeyesum.
Sylvia: Good. (looks around, slowly slips away)
(Close up on Wander, he looks around, he suddenly stares in shock. Cut to his perspective, he sees a rock lady carrying a cart of rocks, one of them falls out. He gasps, and instantly zips off)
(Cut to Sylvia, her bottom sticking out of the ship. She hot-wires it, then sticks her head out)
(Still no answer, Sylvia leaves the ship)
(Still no answer, she looks in shock as she sees Wander running while a Watchdog chases him)
(Cut to Wander running)
Wander: MA'M! WAAAIIIIT!
(The Watchdog follows him, but Sylvia punches him in the face, leaving his suit running for a moment. She suddenly looks up to see the ship take off)
Sylvia: FLAB CRABBIN' HAMSPANGLER!
(Cut to Wander as he picks up the rock)
Sylvia: A rock? (as Wander breathes on the rock) You blew our escape for a rock?!
Wander: Excuse me, ma'm? You dropped this.
Sylvia: (shrugs, walks up to him) I can't believe you botched our escape for something as unimportant as –
Rock Lady: My baby!
(The rock lady kisses the rock – her baby, and it coos. She puts it back in the pile of her other rock babies, they coo)
Rock Lady: Oh, (hugs Wander tightly) thank you. Thank you!
Wander: You're so wel – (his face bulges as he is squeezed tighter) COOOOOME...
(The rock lady walks off)
(Pause as Wander tips over. Sylvia suddenly stares in shock, more Watchdogs come toward them. She grabs Wander and zips behind a pole as they walk by)
Sylvia: Okay, new plan. All we gotta do is find an interdiminsion...interdim *gasps*...there.
(Camera shows a line of creatures paying to use an interdiminsional exit door)
Sylvia: (offscreen) Interdiminsional door!
(Cut to Sylvia as she runs into the crowd)
Sylvia: Outta my way! Wanted fugitives comin' through, move it, MOVE IT, MOVE IT!! (looks back at the Watchdogs) Watchdogs? Ha! They should call 'em Watch-us-escape-dogs, eh, Wander? (stops to realize Wander isn't there, but a purple arm creature is)
Arm Creature: I love holding hands.
(Sylvia throws the arm creature away and looks around, just before looking forward in shock)
(Cut to Wander running)
Wander: Wait! Stop! Outta my way! This is a matter of life and death! (jumps forward and slides until he catches a nail) Got it! Phew.
Sylvia: (runs up in the background) Really? Really?! You ruined another perfect getaway for –
(While saying this, camera zooms out revealing a balloon man, he screams)
Balloon Man: Oh, my stars! I could've been killed!
(Sylvia stares in shock)
Balloon Man: My dear boy, I owe you my life. (hugs Wander, shocking his fur) How can I ever thank you?
Wander: (while his fur stands on end) Eeeeeeeeeeeee!!!
(Close up on Sylvia as she scowls, then suddenly turns around to see the Watchdogs. She chatters, takes Wander and runs off, briefly shocking for a moment. They hide under a carrage)
(Animal trumpeting is heard, zoom out to reveal three winged elephants hooked up to the carriage)
Sylvia: Alright, new new plan. Wanna play dress-up?
Wander: When don't I?
(Cut to show them dressed up as a winged elephant, with Sylvia in the front and Wander in the back)
Carriage Rider: Go!
(The carriage and the winged elephants rocket upward)
Sylvia: Now Wander, it's really important that you stick to the plan. You've got to pretend to be my...butt, long enough for us to escape. It's-this is serious!
(Wander gives a thumbs-up)
Sylvia: Hang on! Here we gooooo! (the carriage and winged elephants take off) Wooooooooohoo! (looks down at the Watchdogs) SEE YA LATER, SUCKERS! WHO LOOKS STUPID NOW?!?
(We hear burping, scene cuts to Sylvia's perspective, widen to reveal Wander running from the Watchdogs)
Sylvia: (looks back) YIP FLIPPIN' HAPPLE BLASTER! (bites rein and falls)
(Scene cuts to show Sylvia falling, followed by Wander running from the Watchdogs as they shoot lasers. Sylvia plows into the Watchdogs, causing them to bounce up and hit the ground hard. Cut to Wander)
Wander: Stand back! Nothing to see here! Everything is under control! (looks down at two ants – one red, one blue – fighting over a peanut, they chirp) Gentlem-ants, please. Might I propose a proposition to your perplexing and ponderous peanut problem? (takes the peanut, breaks it in half and gives each half to each ant, they smile) There! And now you got...
Red ant: Brothers and sisters, drop your weapons!
Blue ant: The war is over!
(Show the ants from both sides cheering)
(Zoom in on Sylvia, scratched and hurt, a Watchdog is punching her tail, she punches him away and facepalms. Cut back to Wander as he poses with the ant kings while an ant paparazzi takes pictures of him)
Sylvia: Excuse me, your tinyness? May I borrow your national treasure for just a moment? Thanks.
(She takes Wander and drags him away)
(They go behind a set of pipes)
Sylvia: (counting off on her fingers as she lists Wander's deeds) You rescued a baby. You saved a man's life. You stopped a thousand-year war. I get it, you're a "helpful guy".
Wander: Aww. Sylvia, you're makin' me blush!
Sylvia: But you are going to helpful us to death! Please, no more helping! And if you must help someone, then help me, help us to get outta here!
Wander: (realizing what he did) You're right, I totally get it. (sternly) From now on, no, more, helping.
Sylvia: Finally. Thank you. (sighs) So, here is the new new new new, and may I add last, plan.
(Cut to a sewage pipe with stinky goop dripping from it)
Wander: Bleh. This plan –
Sylvia: Stinks. I know. But it's the best we've got.
(Screen flashes to Sylvia's plan)
Sylvia: (voiceover) Okay. So this sewage pipe leads to that garbage barge, which will be leaving the planet in precisely three minutes.
(Screen flashes back to reality)
Sylvia: ...And we'd better be on it when it does. Got it?
Wander: No. Helping.
Sylvia: Okay. (cracks knuckles) One, two, (pulls on pipe cap) THREEEEEE...
(Cut to the Watchdogs, zoom in on two of them)
Right Watchdog: They could be anywhere, Sir. It would be helpful if we had some idea of how to find 'em.
Left Watchdog: "Helpful"! That's it! (whispers to the other Watchdog and points)
(Cuts to a slug hugging his toy slug. One of the Watchdogs takes the toy from him)
(Cut to Wander, he starts to leave the ally, but stops and sees Sylvia still pulling on the pipe cap. He backs away and cowers)
(Cut to a dog with a giant bowl of green apples at a market. A Watchdog takes one apple from the bottom, causing all the apples to spill)
(Another Watchdog looks around with his telescope. Cut to Wander still cowering in fear, he begins to shiver and chatter. Sylvia is behind him, still pulling on the pipe cap)
(Cut to an elderly wizard, a Watchdog takes his staff, causing him to fall)
Elderly Wizard: Hellllp.
(Another Watchdog stands on the elderly wizard's back and looks through his telescope. Cut back to Wander, he shivers and chatters some more)
(A Watchdog is shown shaking the slug's toy around. Cut to Wander, beginning to freak out)
(A Watchdog is shown tossing an apple. Wander freaks out more and cringes)
(Cut to show Sylvia still trying to pull the pipe cap off)
Elderly Wizard: Help.
(Cut to Wander, still freaking out. He shrieks; Shift repeatedly back and forth between the citizens in distress, Sylvia still pulling on the pipe cap, and a flabbergasted Wander, zooming in on his widened eyes as the citizens continue shouting for help, while the sound of a heart beating is heard)
Elderly Wizard: Help.
(Wander jumps in the air and screams loud and very long. He immediately runs past the slug, giving him his toy back. He runs past the dog, restacking his apples. He runs past the elderly wizard, only to get him to stand upside down. He runs past him again, helping him stand right side up. He sighs)
Wander: That's better. (hears the sound of something dropping and picks it up) Here, you dropped this.
(Zoom out to reveal he has helped pick up a laser gun for a Watchdog)
Wander: What? Wait! Sylvia! SYLVIA!
(Zoom in to the ally, the pipe cap is off, and Sylvia is gone. Cut to a close up of Wander)
(He gets dragged away by the Watchdogs)
(Cut to outside a building with a scrolling sign that reads "Welcome to Hater's Prison!". Close up on Wander)
Watchdog: Bo-oy, apprehending you is really gonna help my standing with Lord Hater, so thanks.
Wander: (sadly) Well, I love to help. (wiggles arms) It's a feeling that (holds up his foot) starts down in my left toe, (wiggles his tummy) rises up through my gutty works, (his heart sticks out and beats loudly) makes my heart all warm and toasty, (his uvula bulges) floats up past the dangly thing in my mouth...
Wander: (breaking down) And ends up at the top of my – ! (they stop walking when they approach a manhole with stink wafting out) What's that smell?!
(Screen flashes; there is a BOOM, Sylvia bursts out of the manhole, roaring and sending all the Watchdogs away. She lands, and sewage falls on her)
(Sylvia begins plowing all the Watchdog away, Wander imitates her motions as some sewage flies into his face. Sylvia is soon worn out)
Wander: Sylvia, I'm so happy you came back! I hardly noticed that you smell like spoiled fish, rotten eggs and moldy sneakers!
Sylvia: Well, while I was shlooshing through that pipe... (shudders) I got to thinkin': Help myself escape? (lowers head) Booooooo...or, help my best friend? (slowly raises head) Woooooop... (suddenly glows green)
Wander: (gasps) Sylvia, you're glowing!
Sylvia: This? I think that's from the radioactive sewage. (Wander hugs her)
Watchdog: Oh, that's... (sniffs, wipes away a tear) Beautiful. (points) NOW, MARCH!
(Cut to show Wander and Sylvia marching, widen to reveal them in handcuffs)
Wander: So, what's the new new new new new plan?
Sylvia: Aside from takin' a bath, I kinda...don't have one.
(They continue marching. Suddenly, a heart beat is heard while the ants from earlier surround the Watchdogs. They stop marching, the ants begin to go all over the Watchdogs)
Watchdog: Oh, gross!!
Red and blue ants: YAAAAAAYYYY!
(The balloon man flies down and takes Wander and Sylvia, he flies them off for a few seconds, then drops them. They fall into a hand of the rock lady, who tosses them far away)
(Cut to Wander and Sylvia flying away from the planet)
(They land on a pile of the garbage barge as mentioned earlier)
(Widen to reveal the barge as it steams away. The garbage man is driving it, he buzzes, tipping his hat)
Sylvia: What just happened?
Wander: See? That's the other nice thing about helpin' folks. Sometimes, they help ya right back. But between you and me, this is the dirtiest clean getaway we've ever made. (picks up a trash bag) Maybe we should help tidy up!
(He picks up a wanted poster from earlier and tosses it into the bag, and walks down the trash pile. Sylvia breaks her handcuffs, lies back and relaxes.Wide shot of the barge, it steams for a moment, then zooms out of sight)