Part 1
(Scene opens showing Lord Hater's ship, which seems to be asleep and is "snoring". Cut to Lord Hater in his bedroom, also sleeping and snoring. Camera shows the entrance to the Watchdogs' sleeping quarters, the Watchdogs are each in their own bed. Zoom in to one of the beds showing the smallest Watchdog, Westley. He is looking out the bed's window)
Westley: (sighs, pauses) What a view.
(An alarm goes off)
Speaker: Emergency briefing! All Watchdogs report to Hall B!
Westley: An emergency briefing! Yes! (Jumps up but bumps his head and falls) AHHHHHHH!!! (hits floor, talks to the Watchdogs) Guys! Wake up!
Watchdogs: Oh, come on, man./Shut up, Westley./Probably another drill.
Speaker: This is not a drill.
Westley: (running out) Guys, come on!
(The Watchdogs groan and wake up. Cut to Westley running down the hallway but screeches to a halt)
Westley: Is Moose up? Somebody wake up Moose!
(He runs off. Cut to a bulky Watchdog, Moose, asleep in bed)
Westley: (offscreen) Wake up, Moose!
(Moose punches Westley in his sleep, freeze-frame as the title appears. Westley gets flung into the wall)
Westley: Heh, good one, Moose.
(Cut to an overview of the Watchdogs marching toward a doorway. Close up on three of them slouching grumpily)
Westley: (offscreen) Come on, guys! Let's keep it moving! (he walks by) Rank and file! Le – (bumps into the Watchdog in front of him) OH! (Bounces trying to see over them) Uh, hey, does anybody have a stepstool? (The Watchdogs stare at him, he pauses) Okay, yeah. That's prob – that's what I figured.
(Widen to reveal Peepers)
Peepers: Watchdogs, our sensors just detected two high priority targets on a nearby planetoid! (The jumbotron shows a jungle planet, then the words "Most hated!" with a picture of Wander with a mean face drawn on it) These two are number one (A picture of Sylvia appears, also with a mean face drawn) and number two on (Both pictures are shown) Lord Hater's Most Hated list. (It's replaced by a picture of Wander and Sylvia bothering one Lord Hater's speeches) They operate against everything Lord Hater stands for. (A picture of Wander giving Lord Hater a sandwich while Sylvia laughs in the background replaces this) All in the name of "having fun".
Westley: Fun! Grr...
Peepers: They're cunning, devious tricksters! Shiftless, indolent, and they don't shower very often. They are enemies of the Hater Empire and that makes them your enemies!
Westley: Enemies! Grr...
Peepers: And even though technically we are the bad guys, these two are the real bad guys!
(Zoom out showing the jumbotron displaying a picture of Wander hugging Lord Hater with Sylvia posing in triumph in the background)
Westley: Bad guys! (Falls) Ugh!
Peepers: (While the jumbotron shows a galaxy map placing Lord Hater's picture with crossbones on each planet) If we can stop these two, there will finally be no one to stop us, from spreading fear, and hate, throughout the entire universe!!!
Watchdogs: Hate's great! Best villain! Hate's great! Best villain! Hate's great! Best villain! (Continues under)
Westley: (Bounces) Best villain! Hate's great! Best villain! Hate's great! (The Watchdogs stop chanting and stare at him) Best villain! (pauses, falls)
(Cut to outside the room, the Watchdogs march, inadvertently trampling Westley)
Westley: Oh! Uh! Ah!
(The Watchdogs march down the hallway)
Westley: (runs after them) Guys! Guys! (trips) Oh!
(Cut to the Watchdogs sliding down the poles. Westley is sliding upside down)
Westley: Whooaaaa!!
(Cut to the Watchdogs getting their big blasters)
Westley: Wow, Wander and Sylvia, can you believe it? What an exciting day! (jumps trying to reach the last big blaster but fails, walks off annoyed with a small blaster)
(Cut to the Watchdogs getting in their seats. They all bring down their safety bars. Westley gets to his seat and tries to bring down his safety bar and succeeds)
Westley: (tries to sit correctly) Oh, man. What if I captured them? Can you imagine? (quavers) I bet I'd get to meet Lord Hater himself!!
Watchdog: Yeah, he'd...probably give you a medal or somethin'.
(The Watchdogs laugh)
Westley: A medal! My whole life...would be...complete.
(Cut to Westley's vision of him receiving a medal from Lord Hater)
(Song: "Westley, You're the Best")
♪ Westley, you're the best-ley, it's the Medal of Evil ♪
Watchdogs: Westley! Westley! Westley!
(Back to reality, Westley is now sitting on his saftey belt)
Westley: Wow...
(The ship takes off at warp speed, Westley flies out of his seat and hits the wall)
Westley: Whoaaaaaaaa!!!
(Camera shows the ship traveling from outside)
Westley: (tries to give a thumbs up) Uhhhhhh...
(Camera shows the jungle planet in the distance, the ship comes to a stop just above the ground. Westley falls)
Westley: Ohhhhhhh!!! (hits ground)
(The ship's "tongue" rolls out and lands on him, letting the Watchdogs out, they trample Westley, not noticing him)
Watchdogs: Hate's great! Best villain! Hate's great! Best villain! Hate's great! Best villain! Hate's great!
Westley: (overlapping) Oh! Ah! Uh! Ah! Oh!
(The "tongue" retracts back into the ship's "mouth" and it zooms off)
Westley: (weakly) Hate's...great...best...villain... (faints and rolls down hill)
(Camera pans downward to a lush, tropical area of the jungle, where Sylvia is fishing in the lake and Wander is sitting on a branch playing his banjo and watching the birds)
Sylvia: (sighs) This is the life, huh, pal?
Wander: Sure is. Although the weather looks to be changin' soon.
(Sylvia looks up, shrugs and goes back to fishing. There is a rumble and marching, which shocks Sylvia)
Sylvia: Watchdogs!
(She zips off, taking Wander with her. Cut to Sylvia dashing at top speed with Wander still playing his banjo)
Wander: ♪ Bre, doop, doop, doop, doop, doo doop, doo doop, doop... ♪
(The Watchdogs chase after them, yelling and firing their blasters. Westley runs after them)
Westley: Wait! Guys! Lord Hater! Medal! (pants)
(Wander and Sylvia rush through a cave and out of the jungle as the Watchdogs chase them. Eventually they reach a cliff, where there are sharp rocks at the bottom)
Wander: Boing boing? (Sylvia leaps over the cliff) WWWWAAAAAHOOOOOOOO!!!!!
(Sylvia lands on the other side safely. The Watchdogs screech to a halt, but fall over the cliff and scream)
Westley: (offscreen) Hey, guys! Don't worry! (runs up to the cliff) I'm coming! (screeches to a halt, backs up) Oh, boy. Phew. Okay, here we go. (skips) Hate's great, best villa – (trips) Oh! (falls) Whoahoahoahoahoa!
(Cut to the Watchdogs, having fallen on the sharp rocks and are groaning)
Peepers: (from inside the ship) ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!
(The ship's "tongue" sticks out and wiggles back and fourth by the Watchdogs)
Peepers: (from inside the ship) OF ALL THE INCOMPETEDENT, BUNGLING, INEPT, AMATEURISH, BUSH-LEAGUE TROOPS IN THE UNIVERSE!!!
(The ship scoops up the Watchdogs and blasts away, Wander and Sylvia see the ship off and smile at each other, then hear Westley grunting. They look over the cliff to see Westley dangling from a branch)
Westley: Wait, you forgot...me.
(Pause)
Wander: Aw! Look at him there! All sad and helpless, can we keep him? Pleeeease?
Sylvia: What?! No way, Wander, that ain't some lost critter! That is a Watchdog, a trained killer, a –
Westley: (answers his walkie talkie in the background) Commander Peepers, sir! (close up on him) This is Private Westley, reporting in. (Gibberish is heard over the walkie talkie) No, n-not Leslie, W-W-Westley, with a W, as in Wander. Anyway, you kind of um...left me behind, could you come pick me up? (More gibberish, a bird lands on him) Uh... (More gibberish) No sir, I uh – I-I-I haven't captured Wander and Sylvia. That's like, the only reason you'd come back for me, right? (More gibberish) Mmmmaybe because I'm a good soldier and you like me? (Peepers laughs psychotically) So, uh...just to be totally clear, I should...n-not be expecting a pickup? (Peepers keeps laughing, the bird standing on him pecks him, flies away and poops on him)
(Cut back to Wander and Sylvia)
Sylvia: Ugh. (Pause, to Wander) What's the plan?
Wander: Just do what I do.
(Close up on Westley, a hook on a string catches him, and lifts him out of the cliff. This was actually the rope from Sylvia's fishing stick. Wander, sitting by a tree with his banjo, sees this, his mood changes)
Wander: (in a stilted manner) Oh, no! A Watchdog! How dreadful! (hides behind Sylvia)
Sylvia: Ugh. (in a stilted manner) I hope he does not take us prisoner, and then use us to make Hater come and rescue him. That truly would be a dark day for Wander and Sylvia.
(Westley takes the rope from Sylvia's fishing stick and ties them around Wander and Sylvia)
Westley: (aiming his blaster) Okay, reach for the sky! (on walkie talkie) Commander Peepers, sir! Private Westley, reporting in! Again! (Hears gibberish, Sylvia's rope falls down, but Wander pulls it back up) Westley. (More gibberish) We just talked like, two minutes ago. (More gibberish) Never mind. I'm happy to report that I've captured Wander and Sylvia! (Peepers laughs psychotically, he tiptoes away and whispers) No, I'm serious, I did, I totally did, they're my prisoners and everything. (Hears gibberish) Floppy hat, big goofy grin, and...a dumpy, grumpy Zbornak.
Sylvia: Dumpy?
Wander: Poor little fella, he'd never make it out here all by his lonesome. Especially with the weather changin' real soon. (wiggles eyebrows) Boink boink!
Sylvia: Weather? What does weather have to do –
Wander: (Taps Sylvia's nose) Doot!
(Pause, Sylvia snorts like a horse)
Westley: Yes sir, I promise you I have them. (Hears gibberish) Thank you, sir. (More gibberish) Great, I'll see you then. (Walks to Wander and Sylvia) Okay, prisoners, we have to meet Lord Hater's ship on the top of that mountain tomorrow morning! (Points at a twisty mountain in the distance)
Sylvia: Tomorrow? There? He can't just – fly to meet you right now?
Westley: He's very busy with important appointments, okay? Otherwise, he totally would. (runs behind them and aims blaster) Now, march!
Sylvia: (to Wander) Look, Hater's coming to get him, he'll be fine at his own for one day. (through teeth) Let's just get outta here!
Westley: I said, (jumps) MARCH! (fires blaster and bounces, falls over cliff) Whoahoahoahoahoa!!! (Wander and Sylvia look over the cliff) I'm okay, Uh-uh-I actually just seem to be stuck on the same branch! Just don't – you're still my prisoners, okay?
(Wander and Sylvia look at each other)
Sylvia: (sighs) I'll get the fishing pole. (walks off)
Part 2
(Fades up in the jungle, soft adventure music plays. Wander and Sylvia walk, still tied up, with Westley following them, aiming his blaster and holding his walkie talkie, it beeps. He tries to keep up with them)
Wander: Isn't this the most amazing of amazing days, Westley ol' pal?
Sylvia: (rolling her eyes) Ugh.
Wander: I mean, look at this place! Look at that crazy guy, and that thing. What's that all about? (Westley's walkie talkie beeps faster) Bet'cha don't get a chance to see this kind of thing very much, do ya, Wes?
(Music stops as Westley puts his hand out)
Westley: Stop!
(Westley runs up to a crossroad as the walkie talkie beeps even faster. He points it at the path on the left, showing a dark cave with bats flying out of it. He points the walkie talkie at the path on the right, showing a peaceful path with butterflies and sunlight. The beeps change into an alarm sound. He looks to the left, the beeps return. He looks back to the right, the alarm goes off. He looks to the left again, and the beeps return. Wander runs up to him, the music resumes)
Wander: (looks at the peaceful path) Ooooh, would ya look at that? Ya know, if we take that path over there, I bet we'd get to see some (does a gesture with his hands) incredible things! (shrugs, rolling his eyes) Could be a lot of fun!
(Pause, Wander stands near the peaceful path, smiles, gives a two thumbs up, nods and quavers. He then walks to the cave as the music changes to a sad guitar as he makes an angry face, moves his hand back and forth and pretends to retch. He walks to the peaceful path as the soft music returns and he quavers again while smiling, nodding and giving a two thumbs up. He walks back to the cave as the sad music returns, and pretends to retch while frowning and moving his hand back and forth. Westley aims his blaster at him)
Westley: I'm not here to have fun, I'm here to capture my enemies. (Wander and Sylvia look at each other) A couple of real bad guys, for Lord Hater, and also, get a medal. Besides, I don't need your nature-loving wisdom. I have the knowledge of the Hater Empire in my hands, and it says we go...left. (Points at the peaceful path, Wander and Sylvia stare in confusion. He points to the cave) Left.
(Wander and Sylvia are more confused, Westley walks into the cave)
Sylvia: Remind me why we have to watch out for this whack-a-doodle.
Westley: (trying to get his walkie talkie back from a squirrel) Hey, come on, this isn't yours! (the squirrel takes it and runs away) Nice try, nature! Backup locator! (takes out a spare walkie talkie, but a monkey offscreen grabs it away, takes out a third walkie talkie) Hater Regulation 85: Always carry an extra backup. This one has a handy wrist strap. (a giant bat snatches him and flies him away) AAAHHHH!
(Wander and Sylvia stare in shock, then run into the cave)
(Cut to Westley getting taken by the bat, he slams into the wall several times)
Westley: Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh!
(Wander grabs onto Westley's feet, while Sylvia grabs hold of his. They get yanked away, Westley lands on the ground)
Wander: (runs up to Westley) Out of the way! I’m not a doctor! (checks him) Pulse pulsing, heart yearning, blood pressure two thousand over thirteen, eye beautiful, reflexes flexy, step aside, this man needs CPR!
(He closes his eyes and purses his lips together, extreme close-up of his face as he leans into view. Brief shot of Westley, obviously horrified by this. Back to Wander)
Westley: Get off!! (swats Wander away and holds up his blaster, but it points at himself) I'm fine! I don’t need your help.
Wander: I was just havin' fun, is all! (turns the blaster around) But if you ask me, you could use an attitude adjustment.
Westley: THAT'S ENOUGH!!! Now march! (they do) We can't keep Hater waiting. (after a pause) Ah-ah! (points to the cave's exit) This way!
(A short pause, the soft music from earlier starts up again as Wander smiles endearingly at Westley, who looks surprised)
Wander: (to Sylvia) Boink, boink! (they exit)
(Cut to Westley walking, he eventually begins to sink)
Westley: Huh? (he's in quicksand) Ah!!! Help!!! (sinks completely)
(The soft music plays as Sylvia uses her fishing stick to free Westley. He flies out of the mud and bangs against a tree before landing on the ground)
Westley: Aww, my little bitty blaster. (Wander wipes it clean with his arm, he jumps) Hey, come on, give it back! Uh! Uh! (takes it, the music changes to a more horrible rock song as he aims the blaster at them) Grr...
(Wander and Sylvia pull up their rope ties and walk off. Cut to Westley drinking some water from the ocean. A giant wave submerges over him)
Westley: Whoa!!!
(Sylvia runs into the water and rescues Westley while the soft music plays. Westley pants, then aims his'blaster at Sylvia as the horrible music plays. Cut to Wander and Sylvia on the other side of a log bridge)
Wander: Come on, Westley! You can do it! (Westley grunts while trying to cross the log, the soft music plays) Almost there, big guy! (Westley whimpers and hesitates) Go, go, go, go, go. Oh, you're so close! (Westley makes it across) Attaboy! Oh good, you did it! You did it!
Sylvia: Yay! You did it! Yeah!
(Westley aims his blaster at them, horrible music plays. Cut to them walking through the jungle, Wander looks back at Westley, marching and aiming his blaster at them, but after a few steps he slows down as soft music plays. He finally falls over and goes to sleep. Wander looks at Sylvia and smiles widely. Sylvia rolls her eyes, then picks up the sleeping Westley with her tail and slides him up to her back)
Sylvia: Dawwwww. You know, he's...he's actually kind of cu-ute when he's not –
(Westley aims his blaster at Sylvia in his sleep. Wander strolls away and drags Sylvia by the rein, not realizing they left their rope ties on the ground. Camera zooms in on the ropes as soft music plays)
(Crossfade to them walking down a path with the mountain in the distance. They finally get to the mountain, and look up at it)
Westley: We made it! Yes! (jumps off Sylvia and climbs the mountain)
Sylvia: Westley? We should probably stick to the trail.
Westley: Nope! Sorry, I've had enough of your so-called fun. (sees a lion with a flaming mane and tail, it roars) AHHHHH!
(Wander and Sylvia rescue Westley just before the lion swipes his paw, they run away, the lion chases them and roars)
Westley: WHOAAAAA!!! AHHHHHH!!!! (Wander grabs a vine, they swing) WHOAAAAAA!!! WHOAAAAAA!!! (they stop swinging) AHHHHH!!! (Hears Wander laughing) Huh?
(Wander and Sylvia are laughing and cheering)
Westley: Huh? (joins in the laughing and cheering)
(They continue to run, eventually approaching a cliff)
Westley: Cliff, cliff, cliff! Do that awesome jumpy thing! That'll stop him!
Wander: Stop? Ooookay! (yanks Sylvia's rein, bringing her to a halt, the lion winds up leaping into the river below)
Westley: Woo! (slaps their hands) That was amazing!
Lion: (offscreen) Woo!
Westley: Huh?
Lion: Hey, man. Thanks for leadin' me to this river. The old fire mane was flarin' up again. Happens whenever I get to thinkin' about stuff that makes me all mad, I just foom! Then I'm all "Raaaaawwwwwrrrrrr". (chuckling) You know? That or when I had too much dairy. Well, see ya. (Swims away)
(Pause, Westley is surprised)
Wander: (offscreen) Well, how about that? (Walks up to him) Sometimes it turns out your enemy's not such a bad guy after all.
(Pause, camera zooms in on Westley. He shakes his head, then aims his blaster at them once more)
Westley: No! You think I can't tell what you're doing? You're just being nice to me because you want me to betray Lord Hater! (Wander and Sylvia are shocked) He said you were cunning, devious tricksters, and he's right! You are bad guys! (walks backwards) Well, tough bananas, it's not gonna work!
Wander: Tough bananas?! Westley, we're helping you 'cause you're our friend, we like you! Right, Sylvia?
Sylvia: Huh? Oh, yeah! Yeah, you're a pretty okay guy, y'know, when you're...asleep?
Westley: (mocking) Oh, sure! Everybody's friends! You're my friends! That fire lion was my friend! This giant cobra bear is my friend! (realizes he's under a giant cobra bear, who hisses)
Wander/Sylvia: (frantic) No, not your friend!/No, no!
(Westley turns toward the cobra bear, it hisses, then roars. Cut to black as a chomp noise is heard)
Part 3
(Fade up showing the mountain in the distance at night. Crossfade to Westley in a cave snoring and sleeping in a spare hat of Wander's)
Sylvia: (offscreen) Thank goodness you discovered that cobra bear's weakness.
Wander: (offscreen) I know I can't keep anything down when I'm being tickled.
Westley: (waking up) Wha...? I don't... (looks over to see he's sleeping in the hat, gets out revealing he's in pink pajamas) Huh? (unzips pajamas revealing his Watchdog uniform)
(Point of view shot from Westley, we see Wander and Sylvia's shadows, Wander is seen spinning Westley's blaster. Westley runs behind a stalagmite and looks at Wander, spinning the blaster)
Westley: I knew it! They were just waiting until I was asleep, so they could take my blaster and do who knows what kind of horrible things. Grr...
(He sneaks over to Wander and Sylvia, hiding behind the stalagmites as he goes. At last he reaches them, they are sitting by a pile of firewood with a hanging post above it. Westley watches the action, roars and jumps out at Wander, only to land a few feet away from him. Wander aims the blaster at him, and he shrieks as a blasting noise is heard, but he does not get hit. Zoom out revealing Wander used the blaster to light the fire. He gives it back to Westley, who snatches it back grumpily, but snuggles it. He then looks up at Sylvia, who holds up a pot in a crazy sort of manner. Westley screams, then aims his blaster, but Sylvia only hangs the pot over the post. The pot is full of soup, and has a spoon in it. She sprinkles in some seasoning mix and stirs the pot. Westley is confused, then looks over at Wander, who takes his hat off and feels around until he takes his banjo out and holds it as if he were to use it to hit Westley. Westley screams and aims his blaster, but Wander tunes his banjo, leaving Westley confused again as he looks up at Sylvia. She holds up a sharp knife, he screams and aims his blaster again, but she only uses the knife to cut carrots for the soup. She adds them to the broth in the pot, leaving Westley more confused. We hear a banjo strum as Westley turns toward Wander and aims his blaster. Close up on Wander, he plays a soft song on his banjo. Westley stares, before grunting and aiming his blaster at Sylvia, who carries two bowls of soup. She offers one to Westley, who glares, and eventually takes the bowl. He looks at the bowl and glares at it as well, and his stomach growls. We hear a slurp as Westley aims his blaster at Wander, who sips down his soup from his bowl)
Wander: Ah!
(He goes back to playing his soft song. Westley backs into a stalagmite while still aiming his blaster and holding his soup, and aims the blaster toward Sylvia as she sits down to slurp down her soup. Westley's stomach growls again, and he looks over at Wander and Sylvia, then at his blaster, then at his soup. Wander and Sylvia turn to look over at Westley, before you know it, Westley is sitting on a stalagmite slurping down his soup)
Westley: Good, so good. Mmm.
(He has put his blaster on the ground, some of the soup drops onto it. Sylvia looks on as Westley continues to slurp his soup, and smiles endearingly. After Westley finishes eating, he holds out his bowl, and Sylvia dumps some more broth into it. Westley continues to slurp the soup down. A snowflake flies by Sylvia, who stares in surprise. She looks out the cave to see it's snowing)
Sylvia: (to Wander) You were right, buddy. Weather's definitely changing.
(Zoom out to reveal the jungle as the snow falls)
(Crossfade to Wander, Sylvia and Westley sleeping, Westley is lying on Sylvia's back while sleeping in Wander's hat. We hear the sound of birds tweeting, Westley wakes up and yawns)
Westley: Huh? (runs over to the cave exit and sees the snow blanketed jungle, pauses, looks around and catches a snowflake)
Wander: (sighs) What a view.
Westley: Yeah...
Sylvia: (walks by holding a mug of hot chocolate) Mornin', pal.
Westley: (pauses) Mornin'.
(Sylvia sips her mug and smiles at Westley. He looks at Wander, who nods. He then looks at the snow, but the moment is ruined when we hear a boom as snow falls over the exit)
Wander/Westley/Sylvia: Whoa!
(Camera reveals Lord Hater's ship on top of the mountain. The "tongue" rolls out, blocking the doorway to the cave. Lord Hater comes out)
Lord Hater: This better be worth it, Peepers. I had a brunch today!
(Peepers and the Watchdogs come out)
Peepers: Well, I'm sorry sir, I just thought it was worth checking out.
Lord Hater: If he doesn't show up with Wander and Sylvia in FIVE SECONDS, WE'RE LEAVING!!! 5 Hater's awesome, 4 Hater's awesome...
(Pan over to Sylvia watching from a bush, she somehow managed to get out of the cave with Wander and Westley in tow. She walks away from the bush)
Sylvia: (talks fast) Alright little guy, enjoy your life of evil and nefariousness. It's been a blast, but we are out of here!
(She suddenly stops, turns out Wander yanked her rein causing her to halt. The soft music from earlier plays)
Wander: Y'know, there's a few up ahead that's about a gazillion times nicer than this one. Why don't 'cha come with us? (holds out his hand)
(Westley turns to look at the snow, then at Wander and Sylvia, then at Lord Hater, Peepers and the Watchdogs)
Lord Hater: ...2 Hater's awesome, 1 Hater's awesome...!!!
Peepers: Well I'm sorry, sir. I knew he wasn't Watchdog material. (Cut to Westley) I should never have even sent him on this mission!
(Zoom in on Westley as he thinks for a moment, then hangs his head low)
Westley: No, I'm not coming with you.
(Wander and Sylvia hang their heads in sadness, suddenly, Westley aims his blaster at them, horror music plays)
Westley: YOU'RE coming with ME!
(Cut to Wander and Sylvia getting locked in a jail cell on Lord Hater's ship. Westley looks at them, slowly realizing something about them before the Watchdogs run by, carrying him with them)
Watchdogs: Westley! Westley! Westley! Westley!
Sylvia: Stupid unpredictable weather.
(Cut to Lord Hater's throne room, Lord Hater and Peepers come forward to Westley, who salutes)
Lord Hater: Private Westley, today, you have made us all truly proud. For your totally evil deed, of capturing Wander, and Sylvia, I am proud, to present you, the Official Lord Hater Medal Of Evil!
♪ It's the medal of evil, you deserve this ♪
(He holds up a gold medal with his face on it and gives it to Westley, but it doesn't fit around his neck like in his vision earlier, it falls down around him because the string is too big)
Lord Hater: No longer will Wander and Sylvia, be free to spread, their dangerous, fun-loving ways, throughout the galaxy!
Westley: Actually... (pauses, chants sadly) Hate's great, best villain.
♪ Hate's great, best villain now ♪
♪ Oh, Westley, you're the best-ley ♪
(Lord Hater begins tossing Westley and the medal into the air several times)
Watchdogs: Westley! Westley! Westley! Westley! Westley!
(Crossfade to the overview of the ship "sleeping" from earlier. Cut to Lord Hater in bed, sleeping. An alarm goes off, and Peepers barges in)
Peepers: LORD HATER!!! WAKE UP!!!
Lord Hater: (lispy, waking up) Wha – what is up with uh – (takes his retainer off)
Peepers: (presses remote, turning on the bedroom jumbotron revealing the ship map) There's been an explosion on the prison level!
Lord Hater: What? Wha - what happened?
Peepers: We're not sure, I'm havin' the security footage from the past hour uploaded now.
(Screen shows Wander and Sylvia in the jail cell, Sylvia is sleeping while Wander plays a song on his banjo)
Lord Hater: Well, yes, that's very good, a locked cell, (screen shows jail hallway) nothing unusual here. (Sylvia kicks her jail door off, and she and Wander escape) But what? Wander and Sylvia escaped?! Well, sound the alarm!!! (Westley appears on the screen, firing his blaster) Oh look, it's Westley. Get 'em, Westley! (Wander and Sylvia appear on the screen, Wander is jumping and dodging while Sylvia is assembling something) You got this, little guy! Yeah! Uh, blast 'em, Westley! Pew, pew! (Screen shows Wander and Sylvia running away with a time bomb attacked to the wall in the background, Westley follows, he chomps on popcorn) Westley, no! Watch out, there's a boooomb!!! (Westley runs past, the bomb explodes, releasing smoke. When it fades, revealing a gaping hole in the wall, Westley has vanished, with only his medal left dangling on one of the window spikes) Noooooo!!! (Zoom in on the medal) Not Westley!!! (pauses) I'm gonna... (grunts) I'm gonna need a moment with this... (Peepers leaves, he sobs) Westley...
(Cut to a golden statue of Westley)
Lord Hater: (fake coughs, mike tone)
(Zoom out to reveal Lord Hater giving a memorial service to the Watchdogs, the statue of Westley behind him says "He was one of the bad ones")
Lord Hater: Today we honor our bad friend, Westley. We did not know him long...
Peepers: (whispers) He's been working here for three years.
Lord Hater: We knew him several years, and never before, had a Watchdog displayed such... (Starting to break down) M-Malice...such contempt...such...cruelty...he single-handedly...captured my most hated enemies...we...we may never know...what happened to him...but we will...we will always...know...he truly was...a bad guy!!! (bawls)
Don't look at me!!! (runs away crying, door slams)
(Cut back to the jungle planet, we see a pink dawn sky. Pan downwards to Wander and Sylvia sitting on a hill before a fire. Wander is holding his banjo)
Wander: Ya think we got away with it?
Sylvia: Well, we're still sittin' here, aren't we?
(After a pause, Westley, now reformed, enters with two logs)
Westley: Of course, it worked! (puts the logs into the fire and sits with Wander) I've been studying Hater's ship. All his cameras will see is me getting sucked out into space trying to stop you guys! I'll probably be remembered as a hero, or something dumb like that.
(Wander strums his banjo, starting a song)
(Song: "Wander Over Yonder End Title Theme")
Wander: ♪ Oh, Wander over Yonder ♪
♪ And check out this and that ♪
♪ If you Wander over Yonder ♪
♪ Best be sure to wear your hat ♪
♪ All the things that you will see ♪
♪ And you certainly will be free ♪
♪ If you Wander over Yonder, ♪
♪ Just you and me! ♪ (Westley: Aah!)
♪ If the darkness comes a creepin' ♪
♪ And you're feelin' down, ♪
♪ Just Wander over Yonder ♪
♪ And turn your life around! ♪
♪ Oh, Wander over Yonder ♪
♪ Be sure to lend a hand ♪
♪ All your helpful, friendly good deeds, ♪
♪ Will spread across the land ♪
♪ All your helpful, friendly good deeds ♪
♪ Will spread across the land! ♪
Westley: ♪ Doodley doot da doot doot, whoo! ♪