The Party Poopers/Transcript

SYLVIA: Once every 30 cycles, when the full moon shines, the mighty High Gnee Council grants one lucky outsider's request for wisdom that will help them overcome even the greatest obstacle. [Wander giggling] What? - You said "heinie. " [giggles] - Wander, please. Dominator's the most serious threat we've ever faced, and she's got a really good chance of destroying the entire galaxy and everything we love and everyone we love and and and the High Gnees [giggling] [music] Listen, I know I'm being a wet blanket, but we cannot afford to blow this! The High [choking laughter] These guys are very serious, and very uptight. They place the utmost importance on manners and protocol, and this is not the time for jokes. Oh, come on, Syl. Listen up. The darkest times call for the sunniest smiles. Not today, they don't. If we offend the High Gnees in any way such as laughing at their name, we lose our shot at learning the secret that could stop Dominator. - Understand? - Okay. [exhales] I promise to put all my power into polite pleasantries, precise protocol, and perfect posture. [Sylvia sighs] Thanks, buddy. [toilet flushing sound] MAN: State your name and business! Salutations, kind sir. - We, Sylvia and Wander - MAN: Louder!! have come to humbly request an audience with the esteemed High Gnee council. [snickering] Oh, you have got to be kidding me. [gasps] Ahem. A most gracious thank you, sir. We desperate, needy travelers would be most humbled if you would see fit to open your doors to ones as lowly as we. Bow, bow, curtsy, step left, step right, squat and curtsy, curtsy, kick, kick, kick. Well done. I am the butler. [muffled laughter] Please follow me to the hind quarters. - No way! - Wander, you've got to keep it together. Okay, so his head looks like a giant - But, but, but, but, but - No buts. The fate of the galaxy is at stake, so no more cracks. [muffled laugh] What was that? Nothing. Nothing at all, sir. Okay, okay, okay. Time to get serious. Serious. Don't fall behind. [gasping laugh] And don't forget to wipe your feet. This shall indeed be a long night. [music] [muffled laughter] Please wait here until you are summoned to move into the bowels of the temple. Okay, Wander, we need to get our presentation perfect if we're gonna impress these guys. - Bow, bow, curtsy, step left - Pssst. Hey. How are you keeping a straight face? - I beg your pardon?! - Come on. Don't tell me you don't think that their heads look like giant. . [crashing] I'm sorry, but is there a problem? No, sir butler of the esteemed High Gnee council. My companion is, uh hungry. May I? Oh, please. We Gnees like big buffets, so feel free to take a big, juicy bite of our rump roast. Pressed ham. Hot buttered buns. Moon cakes. Roasted halibut. Sparkling blopberry fizz. [needle scratches] Bottomless, of course. And last but not least, our galaxy famous pu-pu platter. A thousand pardons, sir butler of the High Gnee council. We must go do that thing with the thing real quick. [guffawing] Pu-pu platter?! [gasping] Okay. [laughter resumes] Pressed ham! Buttered buns! [raucous laughter] Oh! [panting] Ah, butts. BUTLER: Excuse me! Did I hear someone laughing? [coughs] You! Is there something funny you'd care to share with us? Me? No, no, no, no. No way. Why, I'd never even dream of laughing at such a solemn occasion, sir butler, who looks not even a little funny. Guards! Out with him! Don't kick me out. I'm way more worthy than any of these bottom feeders. Please! [door slams] I can't stand brown-nosing. [gong sounds] This is it. Just keep your cool. Maybe try thinking sad thoughts. An old man dropping an ice cream cone. Acid rain at Hater's wedding. Mondays. Greetings, solicitors. I am Gluteus, the High Gnee council's - number two. - A bee with a pollen allergy. A dog waiting for his master to come home, only to discover he's been sucked through a black hole never to return. In a matter of moments, I shall lead you into the rear of the temple, where you will make your requests. We apologize for the delay. But the Council has been terribly backed up. They've been stuck on their thrones all day, and they're positively pooped. Baby with a broken rattle, baby with a broken rattle. - Wander! - I'm sorry, Syl. I'm really trying hard, but these giggles have got a hold on me, and they won't let go. [giggles] Wow. I am so, so, so unbelievably disappointed in you, Wander. We finally got a shot at stopping Dominator, and you're about to blow it. Sylvia, do you really think that the High Gnees are that uptight and serious? [crying] I don't understand. We did everything perfectly. Heel toe, heel toe, dip, turn, turn. We're doomed. Wow, you're right. If we don't get the help of the High Gnees, then Dominator's gonna destroy the galaxy, and there is nothing funny about that. Really? You mean it? You're not gonna go in there and laugh your butt off, and totally bum me out? You're behind me all the way? I can trust you to stay serious until the very end? No buts about it? From the bottom of your heart? GLUTEUS: The High Gnee council will now see Wander and Sylvia. I present to you the High Gnee council. Bow in the presence of the mighty Rear Admiral Keister von Derriére, Grand Vizier Buh'oo Tay, Shakaya Rump the money maker, the twins, Badonk and Adonk, and last but not least, Princess Buttforaface. You may now present your pleas for aid. [classical music] [light applause] [clears throat] Thank you. Thank you upon thank you's. - O magnificent - Pardon me. I am quite stopped up. [loud farting sound] [loud raucous laughter] Oh, man, I can't Rump roast! And and [laughing] [both laughing hysterically] [council members laughing] It's about time. Someone finally passed the test. [laughter continues] Test? Do you really think a bunch of people with heads like ours would call themselves the High Gnees? What does that even mean? The looks on your faces are just priceless. [giggling] Buns. Hold it. You did this for what reason exactly? [laughing] Anyone who doesn't laugh is either lying or not paying attention. We are sick and tired of people kissing our [laughing] faces just to get a favor. You're the first honest people we've met in years. Can you imagine someone named Gluteus? [laughter] - My real name's Todd. - Todd. To help you overcome even the greatest obstacle, we offer you this piece of wisdom. Lighten up!! The darkest times call for the sunniest of smiles. [laughter] Wow. Thank you. It has been a long time since I've really laughed my Sylvia, that's just crude. [toilet flushing]