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I'll call my new planet whatever I want!
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(Lord Hater's ship looks at Dominator's ship)
Lord Hater: Okay, it's Dominator's ship! What do I say to her? (Hides behind a planet)
Lord Hater: "Hey, baby, are you 10,000 tons of molten lava, 'cause you're melting my heart." Oh, yeah, that's good. Okay, here she comes. You're totally cool and awesome. You're awesome, awesome, you're... (Gasps) (Looks at Emperor Awesome's ship) AWESOME?!? (Hides behind a planet) PEEPERS!!! (Runs quickly and zooms out)
Peepers: Emperor Awesome? What's he doing here?
Lord Hater: That's what I said!
Peepers: Okay, stay calm. Lots of people have white-striped space limos. It might not be him.
Lord Hater: Oh, you're right, Peepers. It could belong to anyone.
Emperor Awesome: Hey, babe, it's me, Emperor Awesome! Can I come in?
(Freeze-frame, title card appears)
(Lord Dominator's ship opens and lets in Emperor Awesome's ship)
Lord Hater And Peepers: AAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!
(Cut to Lord Hater's bed, and Lord Hater is laying down on bed)
Lord Hater: (Crying) This is the worst thing that ever happened!
Peepers: This doesn't make sense! Why would Dominator let Emperor Awesome on her ship? He hasn't been a contender in ages. Unless... (Gasps) He's got some kind of new secret weapon.
Lord Hater: What's the point in trying anymore, Peepers? I might as well just spend the rest of my days aimlessly wandering the galaxy, (Mocking) singing songs and helping folks.
Lord Hater And Peepers: They'll be unstoppable. Nothing will ever be the same!
Peepers: They'll take over the galaxy together!
Lord Hater: They're totally gonna date each other!
Lord Hater And Peepers: Wait, what?
Peepers: You think Dominator and Awesome are just dating?
Lord Hater: You think Dominator and Awesome are just gonna take over the galaxy together in a totally non-girlfriend-boyfriend way?
Lord Hater and Peepers: Well, that's way better!
Lord Hater: Oh, too bad, I'm right.
Peepers: I hope so, sir. We have to find out the truth. But how?
(Lord Hater's ship is looking at Emperor Awesome and Lord Dominator)
Peepers: (Hopping fast) What are they saying?
Lord Hater: Don't worry. I can totally read lips.
Lord Hater: (As Lord Dominator) (Sees Lord Dominator) Can you take my rabbit for a walk on Tuesday?
Lord Hater: (As Emperor Awesome) (Sees Emperor Awesome) No way, bro. His leash is made of beefsteak, and that's not sanitary. I could make him a congressman instead, bro.
Lord Hater: Whew! Nothing to worry about. They're only talking about weird stuff that doesn't make any sense.
(Peepers looks through the telescope and gasps)
Lord Hater: What? What Is It?
(Emperor Awesome is doing a butt shake dance)
Lord Hater: NO! Oh, He's so smooth! Well, I can dance, too!
(Lord Hater is doing a disco and butt shake dance)
Peepers: He's not trying to woo her! He's demonstrating how he destroys planets with his planet-destroying parties.
(Lord Hater is doing a side to side dance)
Lord Hater: No, he's doing a smooth dance, and Dominator's gonna be super impressed, and totally gonna smooch!
(Peepers inhales to say something, but is interrupted as Lord Hater tramples him to look through the binoculars again. He sees Emperor Awesome and Lord Dominator, Lord Dominator grabs Emperor Awesome and goes to the left, Lord Hater shrieks and faints)
Peepers: (Gasps) Where'd they go?
Lord Hater: (Gets up, panicking) PROBABLY TO THE SMOOCHING ROOM!
Peepers: The Smooching Room?
(Cuts to black to Lord Hater)
Lord Hater: I've mapped out her whole ship with a super scientific algorithm based on what I've seen of it so far. Here's her inner sanctum, here's the war room, the arsenal, the smooching room, bedroom, – this part is mostly shoes and purses and stuff, – the back-up smooching room...
Peepers: Sir, I seriously doubt an evil villain has a smooching room, let alone two.
Lord Hater: We've got six.
(Cuts to a Smooching Room, Lord Hater puckers his lips)
Peepers: Sir, we've gotta get a closer look. One of us will have to sneak aboard her... terrifying... ship.
(Lord Hater and Peepers frown) (Cuts to black)
Watchdog: Lord Hater, it's an honor to be chosen for this mission. I won't let you down, I swear.
(Static, cuts to Peepers)
Peepers: All right, soldier, you're looking for a big, scary--
Lord Hater: But beautiful--
Peepers: Lady lava villain. Don't let her see you or you're doomed.
Lord Hater: And also a totally-lame-but-thinks-he's-cool shark guy.
Peepers: Yeah, watch out for him, too. If he sees you, you're also doomed.
Lord Hater: The bots. Don't forget the bots.
Peepers: Right, the bots. Watch out for her army of literally thousands of killer bots. If they catch you, you're super doomed, got it?
Watchdog: (Nervously) Uh-huh. On second thought...
Peepers: Good luck, soldier! (He presses a red button on a remote and a hole opens up in the floor where the watchdog is standing. He looks down and falls, screaming; the camera then zooms out to show a capsule with him flying towards Dominator's ship.)
Lord Hater and Peepers: (Cheering) Yes!
[Heavy breathing]
Lord Hater: Uh, Jerry, stop shaking the camera and find the smooching room! It's down the passage on your left!
Peepers: There is no smooching room! Look for the war room. See if you can find Awesome's secret weapon. (Multiple bots appear) Jerry, bots coming from up ahead! Go back the way you came!
[Jerry screaming]
Lord Hater: No, they're coming from behind you! Rush forward in a blind panic!
[screaming]
Peepers: Zig-zag, zig-zag! Run in a zig-zag pattern, you'll be harder to shoot!
Lord Hater: Run right at 'em, it'll totally confuse 'em!
[Jerry runs towards a closet and closes the door behind him. He shrieks]
Lord Hater: Jerry, get outta there! We didn't send you to spy on the inside of a closet!
Peepers: Shhh! Listen.
Emperor Awesome: I'm tellin' ya, D, you're gonna go quiz-nazy for my secret weapon. It's gonna sweep you off your feet.
Lord Dominator: I'm interested.Tell me more about this secret weapon.
Lord Hater and Peepers: This confirms my worst fears! Wait, what?
[Jerry sobbing]
Lord Hater: Jerry, stop crying!
Peepers: We can't hear anything! [sobbing continues]
Lord Hater: No! What happened? Come back! (He frantically presses the buttons, pounds the table, cluthes his head and falls down. Camera cuts to him laying down with his eyes closed, punching the floor, and Peepers standing next to him)
Peepers: Oh, his tears must've shorted out the camera. There's only one thing to do, sir. If we wanna know what's going on, we'll have to go see for ourselves. But how? (He watches Hater's hand and gets an idea)
(Camera cuts to Dominator ship as multiple Fist Fighters walk through one of the corridors. Right behind them are Hater and Peepers, dressed in a big Fist Fighter disguise that conceals them both)
Peepers: Okay, it looks like a left ahead. On my signal, and... now! Turn left. (Hater turns right and the two of them bump into a wall) I said left, sir. Left!
Lord Hater: My left or your left?
Peepers: WE HAVE THE SAME LEFT! (Hater gives him a "thumbs up" and turns right again, causing them to bump into a wall once more) Do you KNOW which way LEFT IS?!
(Camera cuts to a fork in the road, with another corridor ahead; multiple Fist Fighters are shown moving an object covered with cloth)
Lord Hater: What's that?
Peepers: It must be Awesome's secret weapon! We can't let it reach Dominator!
Lord Hater: Gotta play this cool so as not to rouse suspicion. (Camera cuts to multiple Fist Fighters standing in a room with one of them guarding the object. Hater and Peepers walk up to him) Hello, fellow fist fighter. What a lovely... (They punch him, take the object and make a run for it) I'm taking this out!
[music]
(Fist Fighters run after them. Another fork in the road is shown, with the left corridor having a sign that says "Exit")
Peepers: Left! (Hater turns right) No!!
Lord Hater: What?
(Multiple bots show up in front of them)
Peepers: Whoa, whoa, whoa! (He pulls on Hater's lightning bolts. They run through the bots, knocking them over and causing them to run after the two as well. Peepers looks behind them as one of the Fist Fighters nearly grabs him. He kicks Hater with his legs to get him to speed up. The latter whinnies. Peepers looks relieved for a second, but notices a larger bot up ahead and covers his eye in fear. The bot kicks them, causing them to knock over the Fist Fighters as well as the other bots. Lord Hater and Peepers break a wall and end up in the room where Lord Dominator awaits)
Lord Dominator: There you are! Finally.
Peepers: Eep! (A Fist Fighter walks up to them and throws them away. They bump into a wall and fall down)
Fist Fighter: O mighty Lord Dominator, we present to you Emperor Awesome's totally awesome top secret weapon, guaranteed to conquer the galaxy... and your heart.
Peepers: Oh, no, we were both right! They are taking over the galaxy together!
Lord Hater: And they are dating! Peepers, what do we do?
Emperor Awesome: Hey, babe, heard you were looking for a secret weapon. Well, check out these guns! Wah-pow!
Lord Hater: No! That's so cool!
Emperor Awesome: Karate. Let's get awesome! As you can see, I've set them to stun. Huh? Huh?
Lord Dominator: Oh, wow. Oh, and I thought you were all talk. I didn't think you'd actually try anything. I'm impressed.
Peepers: Oh, thank grop, you were right. They're just dating. There's no secret weapon. What a relief.
Lord Hater: (Cries) Now they're gonna smooch, get married, and have babies, and I'm gonna be alone forever...
Peepers: Oh, you're not alone, sir. You have me and the Watchdogs... who needs Dominator anyway? Why, if she can't see that you're really the greatest in the galaxy, then she doesn't deserve you.
Lord Hater: Really? You think?
Peepers: Of course. Besides, I don't think there's gonna be any smooching. Look.
Lord Dominator: You know, when you showed up, I was, like, right, like I'm letting that scrub on my ship. But it was a slow day, no big planets to dominate, nothing but reruns on, so I figured, maybe he does have some kind of secret super weapon. At least it would be entertaining. But you know what? I never guessed what a pathetic waste of time you'd be. Do you really think I'd let you ride my coattails to the top? Ha! Get real, buster! Not even that idiot Hater is as delusional as you.
Lord Hater: She knows my name!
Peepers: She called you an idiot.
Lord Hater: An idiot whose name she knows!
Emperor Awesome: Don't be like that, babe. C-Come on, what about all the good times? Hey, take it easy, D.
Lord Dominator: That's Lord Dominator, if you're nasty.
Emperor Awesome: Baby, wait!!
Lord Dominator: Bots! (The bots start shooting the Fist Fighters as Lord Hater dances)
Lord Hater: She hates Awesome and loves me.
Peepers: Sir...
Lord Hater: Hater's gonna date her, Hater's gonna date her.
Peepers: Sir!
Lord Hater: Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah!..
Peepers: Sir!! (Camera cuts to the two of them being surrounded by bots. Dominator blasts them with lava and they start running away)
[music]
Lord Hater: Yeah! She likes me! (Camera cuts to the Skullship getting far away from Lord Dominator's ship with Peepers controlling it)
Peepers: Sir, she's cold and heartless! I really don't think she wants to date anyone!
[music]
Lord Hater: Cold and heartless? You're just jealous. She's not so bad.
[Dominator laughing]
End Credits[]
(The camera resumes working as Jerry is shown opening the closet door)
Jerry: Sir? Come in, sir. You left me on Dominator's... (Dominator peeks in and looks at him nonplussedly) ...ship. (He screams and runs away, eventually bumping into a wall. The camera breaks again. Cut to an unconscious Jerry and Dominator looking at him)
Lord Dominator: Oh, what is with these guys? (She walks away)