|“||No, not so fast, pal, we can't tell anyone! If word gets out, then Dominator will show up and ruin this place! This has to be our little secret, okay?||”|
While taking refuge on a secret planet that Lord Dominator didn't conquer yet, Sylvia tasks Wander with the job of keeping it a secret so she wouldn't find it. But Wander's job turns out to be tricky when he ends up helping various other visitors, that appear to expose the planet even more.
The episode starts with Wander reading reviews of planets on an electronic map, all of which say it was ruined by Dominator. He sees a small planet without any reviews, and concludes that Dominator hadn't been there. On the planet's beach, Sylvia realizes why Dominator hadn't found it: it's too small to have a decent gravitational pull, it has no online presence, and it's behind another planet, so it can't reflect sunlight. Wander wants post a review, but Sylvia reminds him that if Dominator finds this place, she'll destroy it. Wander agrees to keep the planet a secret.
Sylvia walks off to find a shelter. Wander sees refugees from a planet Dominator destroyed, which he tries to convince himself are fine, until their ship goes up in flames. He guides them in like an Earth airplane when Sylvia gets back with some branches. Wander tries to pass off what he was doing as a dance. Sylvia sends Wander off to gather some palm frons, which he uses as an opportunity to check on those refugees.
When he finds the refugees, robed green creatures, they've gathered around a fire and considered him their king. They ask to use the planet as a sanctuary, which Wander agrees to, as long as they keep their voices-- he gets interrupted by the alien's thanks. They dress him up as king and make him a feast, which he declines, and the aliens see this as him being displeased with the food. The refugees create a huge fire to cook with, so Wander excuses himself to the forest, saying that the food they've already prepared will do.
When he leaves, he finds that some businessmen-like aliens have come to the planet. They complain about waiting for their tables too long, and start to head in Sylvia's direction. Wander diverts them by acting as a waiter for them. The aliens reveal that they came when they noticed the fire that the other refugees made, and thought it was a resort. Wander quickly warns them to stay away from the beach because it "is being...sanded." The aliens order fruity drinks, and he excuses himself back to the other refugees.
He arrives near the fire with his king outfit on. He asks if the aliens could make some fruity drinks. They do so loudly, then construct a huge statue of Wander. Wander panics, and rushes past the "businessmen" and arrives on the beach with the drinks. Sylvia thanks him for the drinks, then questions what he's wearing. Wander passes it off as nothing. Sylvia remarks that she's still waiting on those palm fronds. Wander runs back to the businessmen.
The refugees have created a neon light stage, which is shining on a nearby planet, and are disappointed that Wander only brought one drink. He runs into the forest, only to find some tourists taking bright photos. The cameras spot the "native" fauna: Sylvia. Wander tries to divert them by posing as a wild monkey. Wander steals the kid's drink and tries to serve it to the businessmen.
Wander finds that the businessmen are tearing down the forest to built a real resort. Wander tries to direct them somewhere with less stuff in the way, dressed as a real estate saleslady. They settle on this spot, and create noise anyway. In the forest, the refugees are sacrificing the tourists for their king. Sylvia finally notices what Wander's doing and Wander explains what happened. Sylvia pretends she understood his explanation and forces Wander to fix this.
Wander admits to everyone that he's not a king, or a waiter, or a monkey, or a real estate agent. The aliens tell Wander that they've heard of him, and want to help him. The creates take everything down but the statue, which Wander wreaks himself. With the planet safe, Wander questions how they're going to stay there. Sylvia lets everyone into the huge cave shelter she made.
For a full transcript of The Secret Planet, click here.
|The image gallery for The Secret Planet may be viewed here.|
- "S'il vous plait" means "If you please" in French.
- While with the Schmancies, Wander dresses in his waiter costume from "The Date", and even has the French accent as said disguise from that episode.
- This is the third episode to open on a map of a planet. ("The Tourist", "The Big Job").
- The disco music played when the Schmancies appear is the same tune as when Wander turns on the disco ball in Hater's room from "The Prisoner".
- The song Wander plays on his banjo in the secret hideout is the same tune as Banjo Wander's song from "The Wanders".
- This is the first time Wander is completely naked.
- The title card is written small, to show that it's finishing a quiet sentence.
- The tourists seem to be cameras whose real life age matches the model of camera. The father is a bulky 1980-something camera, the mother is a digital camera, and the teenager is a cell phone.
- Parts of this episode satire how many different races see America: some of the first settlers saw as a place of refuge, then as a place of prosperity, then Americans see it currently as a tourist attraction.
- This episode's title and airdate was originally revealed on Google.
- Following a month-long hiatus in December, this will be the first episode to be aired in 2016.
- Jack McBrayer as Wander
- April Winchell as Sylvia, Nancy Schmancy, planet reviewer 4
- Keith Ferguson as Clancy Schmancy, planet reviewer 5
- Tom Kenny as one of the hooded refugees, planet reviewer 1
- Noël Wells as smartphone son, planet reviewer 2
- Fred Tatasciore as camera father, planet reviewer 3
"The Eye on the Skullship"
"The Bad Hatter"