(I don't think I'm even trying hue)
(dis is a parody not for reals)
(Everyone stands around a campfire)
Angel: Gather around, wanderers and I'll tell you a tale! A story so horrid, you'd have to be a complete idiot to laugh at it
Shine: (laughs) Angel tells the funniest stories
Angel: Long ago, there was a survival game only available on pc. The game had been so popular, it was followed by two remakes, which were so fearsome and wicked, they would shake you to the bone! These were followed by sequels and even manga
Scorpio: What's so bad about that? It actually sounds really cool
Chenavy: Scorpio's right
Scorpio: I'm always right
Chenavy: What's so bad about it?
Angel: ONLY TWO OF THE GAMES WERE RELEASED IN OUR LANGUAGE!
(everyone gasps)
(le title song)
Scorpio: Why would you tell us something so awful?
Angel: Eh.... for the lols. I can also do this (campfire goes out)
(everyone gaps again)
Scorpio: She's a witch
Makota: I'd still love her!
Scorpio: We already know that, Makota. Everyone knows of your unhealthy obsession
Wander: I like the dark!
(campfire lights back up)
Sylvia: (comes from behind bush) My god, you guys are still awake? I guess that's good so I can pass this pain in the butt to someone else
Bara: (pops up beside Sylvia with an umbrella) I stole an umbrella!
Scorpio: Bara? What are you doing here?
Sylvia: I was asleep and she shook me awake and she wouldn't quit complaining about her "onii-chan" and she kept keeping me awake
Scorpio: Man... and I thought I got rid of her
Bara: (giggle) I could never leave my onii-chan by himself
Shine: Awww she's so cute!.... Can we eat her?
Scorpio: I think we need to get you a therapist
Wander: We all know how's getting eaten tonight, sugar lumps
Shine: (squeezes Wander's cheeks) I will now squish your face
Angel: Alright friends! Here's a little charm I'd like us to try called Sachiko Ever After!
Chenavy: Why did you say charm like that?
Angel: Chenavy, me letting you join is enough
Chenavy: Yay!
Angel: Now shut up... and listen
Makota: She's hot when she's demanding
Angel: Anyways, as long as we do this charm, we will be together forever!
Bara: Where did you hear that?
Angel: The internet
Bara: But I heard the internet can lie sometimes
Angel: Why would the internet lie?
Bara: Onii-chan, the crazy lady is scaring me.
Scorpio: Bara, call me big brother like normal people.
Bara: But this is supposed to be Japanese
Scorpio: Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.... the big kids are talking
Sylvia: I think this charm is a birlliant idea. What could possibly go wrong with a paper doll?
Angel: Yeah! Nothing could possibly go wrong.... not yet that is
Makota: Are you ok, Angel?
Angel: (looks at him with red eyes) Silence mortal
Makota: I think I just wet myself..... I like it
Chenavy: (starts crying) Thank you all for this! I really want us to be together forever!
Nomad: I must capture this moment (gets out camera. Chenavy smiles) Crap! You were supposed to look in pain!
Angel: Alright everyone! Shut up because I'm talking! Here's how this works: say Sachiko we beg of you 19 times in your head! Now do it
(moments later)
Angel: Now everyone grab on to the doll and rip that baby apart! Alright! Here we go!
(strike of lightning)
Makota: Nothing happened
Angel: (disappointed) Shut up, Makota. (sigh) Keep the paper somewhere safe blah blah blah
Makota: Is it magic?
Angel: Oh you're so gullible! As long as you all keep your scraps, we will stay together forever
Shine: That's so cool!
Wander: I think I peed myself!
Chenavy: Thanks again everyone! I'll treasure it forever!
Angel: Yeah! Whatever.... you do that
(earthquake starts)
Sylvia: Uh, what's going on?
Shine: Is Godzilla coming?
Nomad: We're not in Tokyo though
Angel: Man, I almost though the spell was working
Sylvia: I guess it's alright now
(ground collapses beneath them)
Nomad: I wish I could take a picture of your horrified faces!
(everyone falls underground)
(Shine wakes up in a ruined classroom)
Shine: Where am I? (sees Wander lying on the ground) Oh no! Did I kill someone again? I can't go back to prison! (walks over to him) Wander, wake up! If you do I'll let you pet my hair once!
Wander: (wakes up) Only once? Where are we and why won't my pictures of you making out with Scorpio appear in my hat?
Shine: What?
Wander: Nothing!
Shine: I think I sprang my ankle so I should go rest or something
Wander: Shouldn't we try to escape?
Shine: Nah that can wait
(le while later)
Wander: There! All wrapped up! Do you feel better?
Shine: I feel better than Nomad looking at pictures of people crying.
Wander: (slowly backs away) That's my cue to leave. I'll be back, my sweet (runs away)
Shine: Man! Well at least they'll go after him and not me. I'm an important character so why would I die?
Yonder: You looking mighty fine girl! Have you ever been kissed by a spirit before?
(meanwhile)
Wander: (gasp) My Wander sense is tingling
(meanwhile)
Shine: GET ME OUT OF HERE! (opens door and runs out)
Yonder: Call me baby (fades away)
Shine: (lies on the ground) meeeeeeeeeeh
Wander: (runs from behind) Are you ok, Shine?
Shine: DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT HAPPENED TO ME? YOUR OTHER SPIRIT TRIED TO MAKE OUT WITH ME! JUST RIGHT NOW I'M RESTRAINING FROM PUNCHING YOU IN YOUR.... YOUR... DUMB FACE! DON'T EVEN BOTHER TRYING TO HELP!
Wander: M-my face isn't dumb and you're a-a.... a meanie face! (runs away crying)
(and Wander was never seen again)
(to be continued)