It's been a few months since Westley left Lord Hater and became good friends with Wander and Sylvia. However when Lord Hater realizes Westley is still alive and has betrayed him, he forces him to leave them and return to the Watchdogs, causing Westley to end his friendship with them, but to him, going back to the Watchdogs isn't what it seems to be.
(Opens showing the jungle planet from "The Little Guy". Pans in to Wander and Sylvia, Wander is pacing back and forth while Sylvia files her nails while sitting on a log)
Wander: Oh, where could he be? Westley said he would be here right now! I mean, he said he'd join us for our trip to Sunny Falls, but...what is taking him so long?!
Sylvia: Don't know, maybe he's stuck in a detour or something.
Wander: Sylvia, I know Westley's our friend and all, but...it's been just a few months since he first befriended us and became a space traveler, like me!
Sylvia: Why, yeah! He's really nice, of course! And of course, he's really cute.
Wander: (gasps) That's Westley, now!
(They turn towards the sky, we see a star shaped flying saucer flying haywire. It flies into the screen)
(Cut to the ground where the flying saucer crashes to the ground. Wander and Sylvia walk up to it, close up on the flying saucer as a door opens and Westley comes out)
Wander: Ugh, why can't I get this stupid thing to work?!
(Freeze-frame as the title appears, cut to Wander)
Wander: Westley! You're here! (runs up to him) Oh, I've missed you so much!
Westley: Wander! (shakes his hand) I knew I'd see you sooner or later! Oh, I'm sorry I took so long, my flying saucer just wouldn't own up.
Wander: You have a flying saucer? (looks at it) Wow! That looks like the star on your hat!
Westley: And yours?
Wander: (giggles) Right, I have a star, you have a star, we both have stars! Get it?
Westley: Ha ha, of course I get it! Because of the whole star thing, duh.
Sylvia: Hey, Westley.
Westley: Sylvia! Haven't seen you in a while as well! What have you been up to, lately?
Sylvia: Uh, I 'unno. Just space traveling, like always.
Wander: You asked us to wait for you here, so you wouldn't be late for our trip to Sunny Falls!
Westley: Sunny Falls? Where's that?
Wander: Oh, you'll see. Come on!
(Wander gets on Sylvia, and Westley joins him. Wander blows an orbble around them, and Sylvia floats upward)
(Cut to them walking through space)
Westley: I wonder what Sunny Falls would look like. (close up of he and Wander) Will it be sunny? Is there a waterfall? Will the waterfall be shaped like a sun? Will the sun be spitting out water like a waterfall? I just don't know! I never been to Sunny Falls before, it's like one of the planets that Lord Hater hates a lot.
Wander: Well, you're not with Hater anymore, now you're with us! And you love now, not hate.
Westley: (giggles) "Love, not hate", good one, Wander.
Wander: Wes, in just a few moments -- more or less -- you'll be seeing a really special planet with your own eyes.
Wander: (realizing) Eye, right, of course.
Sylvia: We're here!
Wander: Behold, Sunny Falls!
(Reveal a golden planet in the shape of a sun, with a massive myriad of waterfalls in the center. The orbble floats toward it)
(Camera shifts to the gleaming gold grounds of the planet, the orbble lands, and it pops. All three gasp and marvel at the sparkling waterfalls, point of view shot at the falls, panning upwards)
Westley: Wow! I've never seen that many waterfalls before!
(Close up on Westley, his star hat falls forward, but he readjusts it)
Wander: Sunny Falls is the richest, sparkliest, and high ending-est water park in the entire Yonder Galaxy. And we've come here for an astounding swim like no other!
Sylvia: I've been here with my family some times, but that was when I was a child.
Wander: Swimming fun, here we come! (runs offscreen) WHOO!!!
Sylvia: (runs offscreen) COWABUNGA!!!
Westley: (shrugs, runs offscreen) Swimming! Woohoo!
(All three jump into the water, water splashes the screen. When the water slides downward, we cut to an area in the water, Wander, Westley and Sylvia come up in time with their lines)
Wander: (inhales) Man, this is the life, huh?
Sylvia: (inhales) I've been waiting for this all day, buddy.
Wander: How 'bout you, Wes?
Westley: (inhales) Well, great! This is my first time in a pool, Lord Hater would never let us do this.
Wander: Come on, everyone! Let's swim!
(Montage of everyone swimming together begins as Wander swims offscreen and Westley and Sylvia follow him. Cut to a waterslide, all three line up, smallest to biggest. They slide down it together and splash into the water. Splash transition to Westley drowning to the bottom, Wander quickly swims to him and brings him back to the surface. Sylvia swims by and upward, cut to above the surface where she comes out a la "The Little Mermaid", then flips her mane flirtatiously. Cut to Wander lying on his back and spitting water out of his mouth like a fountain while Westley floats by on an inner tube. Cut to Sylvia as she splashes water, show Wander as water gets all over him. He splashes back. Eventually, water gets all over Westley, and he joins in splashing them. Cut to under the water as Wander swims and leads Westley and Sylvia up to the surface, they come up one by one and turn to lie on their backs. Camera shifts to above them as they line up in a circle on their backs and hold hands)
(Shows an overview of the falls, before zooming out to show the action on the monitor in Lord Hater's bedroom. Lord Hater is sleeping, then his alarm sounds, he stops it, and wakes up to see Sunny Falls on the screen)
Lord Hater: (groans) Sunny Falls, what I really hate the most. (walks out)
(Cut back to Wander, Sylvia and Westley laughing in the water)
Westley: You know what, guys? This is way better than the usual emergency meetings I used to have with the Watchdogs. I mean all the "Fun! Grr..." and such.
Wander: (giggles, imitates him) "Fun! Grr..." (normal) But you don't have to do that anymore, now you're all "Fun! Woohoo!" and such!
Sylvia: (laughs) Best of all, you don't have to wear that stupid lightning bolt helmet.
Wander: Yeah, that star one really goes with your attitude!
Westley: (tapping his hat) I know, right? Stars are better, lightning bolts... (imitates static, makes fart noise and points away with thumb) Out. Way out.
(Wander and Sylvia laugh, we hear a beep)
Wander: (gasps, looks at watch) Oh my, it's gettin' late! Wouldn't wanna spend all day in the water, we'd better get home soon! Mom's cookin' pot roast!
Westley: Pot roast? I love pot roast!
Sylvia: Wouldn't wanna miss that.
Wander: Come on guys, let's get out of the water and go home. (swims offscreen, Westley and Sylvia follow)
(Cut to an extreme close up of a round block on a podium, Lord Hater slams a gavel against it. Widen to reveal him standing at a podium in front of a myriad of Watchdogs, Peepers is next to him)
Lord Hater: Attention, Watchdogs! I've called you here for the usual briefing!
Watchdogs: Oh, man!/Not another one, huh?/This better be important.
Lord Hater: SILENCE!!! According to my Hater sensors, those number one and number two on my Most Hated list have recently been spotted at Sunny Falls, the planet I hate the most!
(The Watchdogs riot)
Peepers: Uh, sir? Is there something you left out?
Lord Hater: What is it, Peepers? (responds to his whispers) But...why? How come? (more whispering) Okay. (To the Watchdogs) In addition...I have to give out some bad news as well...it's been a few months ever since we lost our youngest cadet, Westley. (gestures to the Westley statue) He was our best member yet, and ever since that explosion on the prison level, (sniff) I just can't help thinking about it! Now, let's all reflect on all Westley has done for us, by taking a moment of silence.
(Everyone bows their heads sadly and places their hands together. There is silence for a few moments, then an alarm goes off. The Watchdogs gasp)
Peepers: Lord Hater! It's the Most Hated alarm!
Lord Hater: Oh, in the middle of a briefing? Okay. (To the Watchdogs) Wander and Sylvia have been spotted again! Please direct your attention to the jumbotron. (presses a remote)
(Widen to reveal the jumbotron, the image of Wander, Westley and Sylvia walking home in an orbble appears on the screen. We hear chatter from the Watchdogs)
Watchdog: Man, we really hate them, now.
Watchdog 2: Wait, is that Westley? Sir! I think I see Westley!
Lord Hater: What? Is that you, Digby? Did you say something?
Digby: I see Westley with Wander and Sylvia!
Lord Hater: What the -- Westley? (presses remote, image on screen zooms in closer to show Westley) Westley?! Nonononononono, that can't be! The explosion and -- the medal left behind -- WHAT HAS HAPPENED HERE?!?
Peepers: Why don't you see for yourself? (presses remote, image on screen zooms in more to Westley's star hat)
Lord Hater: What the -- no! (to the Watchdogs) Watchdogs, it appears our private Westley is still alive! And even worse, HE'S BETRAYED US!!!
(Lightning flashes, the Watchdogs riot)
Lord Hater: I CANNOT BELIEVE our private Westley has dumped us for our most hated ones!!! And look, he's become cunning and sly like them!!! Oh, this makes me so mad, I could just EXPLODE!!! (He explodes) That is it, my rule the universe scheme has to be put off until we stop this madness and get Westley back! And he's coming back with me once and for all, and he is to go nowhere near Wander and Sylvia again! WHO'S WITH ME?!!
Watchdogs: Hate's great! Best villain! Hate's great! Best villain! Hate's great! Best villain! (Continues under)
Lord Hater: Let's get Westley back! I am Lord Hater, number one superstar!
Peepers: Ruler of the entire universe!
(The Watchdogs cheer)
(Cuts to Wander's home planet, Westley is standing before Wander and Sylvia)
Westley: Thanks for the trip to Sunny Falls, guys. I've loved it so much, and I can't wait to go back again sometime.
Wander: Oh! That's my cue! Let's go again next week!
Westley: I'll keep that in mind.
Sylvia: You were right, Wander. Sometimes an enemy turns out to be a friend after all.
Wander: Syl's right, Wes. Sometimes your enemies turn out to be really nice, and aren't so bad after all.
Westley: And you know what? I don't think you're cunning, devious tricksters, I think you're happy, silly space travelers! And you helped me try out things I've been missing all my life! Thanks, guys. (hugs them)
Wander: What could possibly go wrong?
(We hear something in the distance. All turn towards the sky and see Lord Hater's ship)
(Close up of Lord Hater's ship, shift to ground as the ship lands; it's "tongue" rolls out and Lord Hater comes out. Peepers and the Watchdogs follow him)
Wander: Lord Hater! What a surprise! What brings you here?
Sylvia: Is it another one of your evil schemes? (gets into fighting stance) I'm ready to take you down!
Lord Hater: I'm just here to pick up someone who has betrayed me for you! PRIVATE WESTLEY?!?!?
Westley: (gasps) Lord Hater! I should've known...
Lord Hater: (walks up to them) Private Westley, you have desecrated the entire hateness of the Watchdogs!
Westley: What are you talking about, Lord Hater?
Lord Hater: You have broken Rule #457 of the Watchdog Code: Never hang around anyone on my Most Hated list, especially with (points at Wander) number one (points at Sylvia) and number two!
Westley: No Hater, you don't understand! These two are not hateful nor bad guys, they're really nice, and they're my friends! They like me!
(Wander and Sylvia smile nervously and wave)
Lord Hater: (mocks) Oh, yes! They are your friends! Well, that's not...going...TO WORK!!! (Lightning flashes) That's it! Private Westley, I command you to leave those two and return to the ship immediately! And you're to go nowhere near them ever again for the rest of your life!
Lord Hater: Come on, Westley! To the ship this instant!!!
Westley: Uh, could you give me a moment? (sadly, to Wander and Sylvia) Guys, I'm very sorry, but...Lord Hater well...I'm one of the Watchdogs and I should really be working with him.
Wander: But Westley, you're our friend!
Sylvia: Why do you have to do this?!
Westley: I don't know...I guess our friendship, well...I'm afraid we have to end it.
Wander: (breaking down) OH, WHY, WESTLEY?! WHY-Y-Y-Y-Y?!!
(All sob and hug)
Lord Hater: (as he, Peepers and the Watchdogs board the ship) Come on, Westley! Let's go! Chop chop!
Westley: Well, I guess this is goodbye. Seems like I won't be needing this anymore.
(He sadly takes off his star hat and throws it to the ground, then walks off. Wander walks up to it and picks it up, staring at it sadly. He looks up to see Westley walking up the ship's "tongue". He briefly turns back, he tearfully waves)
Westley: Goodbye, Wander. Goodbye, Sylvia.
(Wander and Sylvia are in tears as well, they wave sadly)
Wander: Goodbye, Westley...oh, why does this have to happen?!
(Westley walks up the "tongue" all the way and waves to Wander and Sylvia, they sadly wave back. The "tongue" retreats back into the "mouth", and the ship takes off. Wander and Sylvia see the ship fly off into the distance)
Wander: (sniffs) I guess we are his enemies after all...
Sylvia: I'd have to agree with ya, buddy... (sniffs)
(Fades up on a door opening to reveal Westley coming in. The lights are out; close up on Westley as the lights come on)
Watchdogs: Surprise!!! Welcome back, private Westley!
(Reveal the entire ship decorated for a Welcome Back party; there are balloons, falling confetti and banners that read "Welcome back Westley!", "We missed you!" and "You're still with us!". The Watchdogs are wearing party hats and laughing and partying. Westley is speechless for a few moments)
Westley: Well, uh...why, thank you! I've missed you, too! Wouldn't miss ya for the world!
Lord Hater: (walks up) Private Westley, it's been so long since you betrayed us for that sly and cunning Wander and Sylvia, and you're back with us today!
Westley: Uh...that's right, sir?
Lord Hater: Since that awful explosion on the prison level we thought you were working on that most hated planet in the sky, but I was so darn wrong! (whispers) I forgot to mention I can be oblivious to the real thing at times, heh.
Westley: Uh...you're right, sir! Heh.
Lord Hater: (While Peepers walks up with a lightning bolt hat) We've missed you so much, but now you're back. (picks up hat) Private Westley, welcome back to the Watchdogs.
(He places the hat on Westley's head, the Watchdogs cheer)
Watchdogs: Westley! Westley! Westley! Westley! Westley! (continues under)
Westley: (pauses) Um...thank you, sir? (salutes uncertaintly) Hate's great, best villain?
(The Watchdogs continue to cheer and toss Westley into the air several times)
(Crossfade to Wander and Sylvia walking home sad)
Wander: Well Sylvia, I guess he wasn't meant to be a friend for us after all, maybe he does belong to Hater's army.
Sylvia: I don't know buddy. I know he's really cute and all, but...I just can't stop thinking about him.
Wander: Oh, all those moments of him -- I can't even get it out of my head at all!!! I especially remember that day when we helped him be good like us.
(He holds up a set of photos; extreme close up of the pile, each photo shows a scene from "The Little Guy". Wander flips through each photo one by one. First photo: Westley just tied up Wander and Sylvia. Second photo: Westley stopped Wander from giving CPR on him. Third photo: Westley sleeping on Sylvia's back. Fourth photo: Westley, Wander and Sylvia running from the flaming lion. Fifth photo: Westley has soup with Wander and Sylvia. Sixth photo: Wander singing "If You Wander Over Yonder" to Westley. Final photo: Westley giving Wander and Sylvia a big hug. Extreme close up of Wander, his eyes begin to tear)
Wander: (pause, sniffs) Why did he have to go? (sniffs, wipes tear) Oh, why?!
Sylvia: I absolutely have -- (realizing) OKAY, I ADMIT IT!!! I LIKED WESTLEY VERY MUCH! I JUST CAN'T STAND IT ANYMORE!!! (bawls)
Wander: OH, WESTLEY, WHY DID YOU HAVE TO GO?! AFTER ALL THOSE DAYS, YOU DECIDED TO GO BACK TO...HIM?! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS, WHY DID YOU?!
(Both sob uncontrollably)
(Cut back to Lord Hater's ship. Westley is walking through the many rooms)
Westley: Mmm-hmm, the entrance hallway. Just as it was before. No idea where they got that statue, though. Food court, as usual. Torture room, tortury. Prison level, prisony. Battle robot, ready for battle, always. Music room, warmed up. Animal hostages, still trapped. Lord Hater's bedroom, always evil. The Watchdog's bedroom...well, I've been missing this, more or less.
Lord Hater: Private Westley, have you finished the ship inspection yet?
Westley: Already done, sir. Every room has been 100% checked and done with.
Lord Hater: Good. Now that that's done, whataya say a nice Watchdog snack? (double clap) Bratwurst for everyone!
(A Watchdog bratwurst vendor comes out with a cart. The Watchdogs chatter and crowd around the cart, each getting a bratwurst. Westley eventually joins them, and is having his own bratwurst)
Westey: Uh...thanks? (chomps)
(Cut back to Wander and Sylvia)
Sylvia: I can't help with these tears, Wander! It's been a mere five minutes since Westley left, more or less!
Wander: I know, Syl! I can't help, either! In fact, Westley is the only one I can think about now-ow-ow-ow!!! (sobs) I can't believe we lost a friend! (sobs more) At least he's enjoying his old life...as our EX-FRIEND!!! (sobs more) I just can't picture it.
(Cut back to Westley, who is walking with Lord Hater)
Lord Hater: Alright, Westley. It's time you and the Watchdogs have a rest before our next evil scheme.
Westley: Well, actually... (pauses, dryly) thank you, sir.
Lord Hater: That's my private! Now, you go along with the other Watchdogs to the solar lounge, I'll sound the alarm when it's time for the evil scheme of the day.
Westley: Yes, sir. (He follows the other Watchdogs, cut to the solar lounge)
Westley: Solar lounge. As always, feeling solarly. (sits down) Well, I guess I'm back in the Watchdogs, don't know what I missed. (pauses, realizing) Well, I know what I really miss now. (takes out a photo) Them...
(Extreme close up of the photo, it shows Westley with Wander and Sylvia making silly faces. Music starts, Westley looks at the photo sadly, before putting it down and standing up)
(Song: When We Were Friends)
Westley: ♪ Today I've learned a lesson ♪
♪ In not losing your friends ♪
♪ After I passed them on ♪
♪ This had to come to end ♪
♪ Why did I leave them? ♪
♪ How could I pass it on? ♪
♪ I wish it never happened, ♪
♪ But he wants me to move on... ♪
♪ When we were friends, ♪
♪ We did a lot together ♪
♪ Like, almost anything ♪
♪ When we were friends, ♪
♪ I'd stick to them whenever ♪
♪ I'm needed for something ♪
♪ I wish I never came here ♪
♪ Right now, I want my friends so near ♪
(Cut to Wander riding Sylvia sadly)
Wander: ♪ When you have a friend who's gentle ♪
♪ And sticks by through and through ♪
♪ They'd do anything you ask them ♪
♪ 'Cause they're such a friend to you ♪
♪ Why did he leave us? ♪
♪ How could he pass it on? ♪
♪ Right now, I want our friend back ♪
♪ I don't think he should move on... ♪
♪ When we were friends, ♪
♪ We did a lot together ♪
♪ Like, almost anything ♪
♪ When we were friends, ♪
♪ He'd stick to us whenever ♪
♪ He's needed for something ♪
♪ I wish he'd come back here ♪
♪ And that he'd never disappear ♪
(By this point, scene shifts back and forth between Wander and Westley many times)
Oh, Westley, why?! WHY-Y-Y-Y?! (sobs)
Wander: Why did I leave you guys?! Oh, why?! (sobs)
'Both: ♪ When we were friends, ♪
♪ We did a lot together ♪
♪ Like, almost anything ♪
♪ When we were friends, ♪
♪ We'd stick by whenever ♪
♪ We're needed for something ♪
Westley: ♪ I wish I hadn't come ♪
Wander: ♪ Without you, life's a bum ♪
Both: ♪ Not having you makes everything a bore ♪
♪ I wish I had you back forevermore ♪
♪ I wish I had you back ♪
♪ Forevermore ♪
(Song ends, Westley is in tears. We hear an alarm sound, cut to the door as it bargs open, revealing Peepers)
Peepers: Private Westley! Captain's bay, NOW!
Westley: Uh, what? Oh, right. Right. Of course, Lord Hater's evil scheme of the day, and he wants me to do it. Coming! (follows Peepers out of the room)
(Flips to the ship's driving area)
Lord Hater: Private Westley, I have called you in here to give you the first part to my evil scheme of the day.
Westley: Well...okay, sir? Carry on?
Lord Hater: I'm going to drive the ship until we reach Wander and Sylvia, and I want you to press this button, (points at a large red button) the button that releases a claw which captures anyone in its sight! Got it?
Westley: Uh...what is this for?
Lord Hater: OH, I'LL TELL YOU THE REST LATER!!! Now, let's go!
Westley: (frantically, salutes) Yes, sir!
(Lord Hater presses the throttle forward, cut to outside the ship as it blasts out of sight)
(Fades up on Lord Hater's ship flying through the sky. Cut to inside, Lord Hater is driving, Westley is pacing back and forth in the background)
Lord Hater: We're getting closer to the most hatees' home planet. (Point of view shot from him, we see Wander's home planet in the distance) We're here!
(The ship arrives on Wander's home planet, it flies around a while)
Lord Hater: Any signs of Wander and Sylvia?
Westley: Nope. (pauses) Wait, there they are!
(Point of view shot from Lord Hater of Wander and Sylvia walking sadly in the distance. Cut to them)
Wander: (sighs) I hope Westley is enjoying his new life.
Sylvia: Me too.
(Cut back to the ship)
Lord Hater: Perfect. Now docking the ship...
(He pulls a lever, cut to outside the ship as it stops just above Wander and Sylvia)
Lord Hater: Now, at just the right moment, Westley, you hit this button, (points at the red button) releasing the claw and capturing Wander and Sylvia!
Westley: But when is the right moment, Lord Hater, sir?
Lord Hater: I'll let you know.
(Cut back outside)
Wander: Maybe he'll visit...or maybe not. Mostly not. (He and Sylvia stop walking)
(Cut back inside the ship)
Lord Hater: Now! Capture them!
(Westley walks up to the panel. Close up of him, he sweats and whimpers. Extreme close up of the button as he brings his hand into view and presses it. Cut to a close up of the ship's "mouth", it opens revealing a humongous claw. It opens and shuts several times, then flies toward the screen. Cut to Wander and Sylvia)
Wander: Maybe I think he will -- (the claw snatches he and Sylvia) Whoa!
(The claw lifts them up off the ground, and they scream. The claw retreats back into the "mouth", cut back to Lord Hater)
Lord Hater: Got 'em.
(Cut to Wander and Sylvia screaming and being flown through an increasingly long hallway. This continues for several seconds, before a door opens and they're thrown into a jail cell)
Wander: Is it me, or did Lord Hater just shoot out a claw and take us to him?
Sylvia: Wouldn't say if I were you.
(Cut to the Watchdogs working on an invention of Hater's. Pans over to Lord Hater and Westley)
Lord Hater: Now to explain the second part of my evil scheme. I'm gonna use my new disintegrator ray to shoot Wander and Sylvia, literally turning them to dust! That way, they're no longer going to exist, and thus, the only place they'll be is that most hated planet in the sky! (laughs)
Westley: Planet in the sky? Is this the same you thought what happened to me?
Lord Hater: Yes. Yours was faked, but Wander and Sylvia's will be for REAL! And since you're back with us, I'm letting YOU do the honors.
Westley: (gasps) Does that mean...?
Lord Hater: I'm letting you turn them to dust!!! (laughs evilly) Come on, this is your moment! Laugh with me! (keeps laughing)
Westley: (flat laughter) Yes, my moment. (to himself) But not for me...
(Cuts to Wander and Sylvia in their jail cell)
Sylvia: Unbelievable. Why would Lord Hater snatch us with a claw and prison us?
Wander: I 'unno. (realizing) What if it's Westley, and he's now back to the way he was before he was our friend? Maybe he's now all... (ominously) EVIL.
Sylvia: I hope that's not so, 'cause if he's evil, he wouldn't be cute.
Speaker: Attention, Lord Hater's prisoners. There will be a disintegration ceremony in one hour, and anyone who's been captured must report to the main hallway to participate. Enjoy your last few moments, and good evening.
Wander: Disintegration? That means turn to dust.
Sylvia: And we're the only ones captured on this ship! So that means...
Wander: WE'RE GONNA TURN TO DUST!!!
Sylvia: No, how could this be?!
Wander: Westley, how could you?! After all these months of being friends, now you... (sniffs) HATE US!!!
Sylvia: Why are you doing this, Westley?! WHY?!! (hugs Wander) Oh, Wander, I can't believe this is where it all ends!!!
Wander: I've always known you for years, Syl!!! Now, this is where it comes to an end, a TRAGIC END!!!
Sylvia: Oh, why, WHY?!!
Wander: WHY-Y-Y-Y-Y?!! (They sob uncontrollably, and the scene dissolves to an outside view of their jail cell, pulling back slowly. Fade to black)
(Snap up on an extreme close up of fanfare horns playing a fanfare, one set for the left, and another for the right. Widen to reveal the main hallway, Peepers comes in through the door at the top of the stairs)
Peepers: Presenting the world's awesomest evildoer, Looooooord Hater!
(Lord Hater walks through the door and comes down the stairs while the Watchdogs cheer)
Lord Hater: I would like to thank all of you for coming, this disintegration ceremony means everything. For this ceremony, I will disintegrate my number one and number two on my Most Hated list! Please, bring the prisoners forward!
(Another fanfare plays and the Watchdogs cheer. Close up on the doorway on the other side as a bunch of Watchdogs walk down a red carpet. After they leave, Wander and Sylvia walk down the red carpet, sad and handcuffed. They approach Lord Hater)
Lord Hater: Wander and Sylvia! My number one and number two most hated! I do bring you here for your big disintegration!
Wander: Why are you doing this?!
Lord Hater: Shut it! This is in honor of my former cadet, Westley, who has rejoined us tonight! Westley! Come out!
(The Watchdogs cheer, Westley nervously comes out the door at the top of the stairs and joins them)
Wander: (gasps) Westley!
Westley: Wander? Sylvia?
Lord Hater: Don't go near them! (to Wander and Sylvia) Based on your cunning, sly, and devious tricks you've caused to me and the other Watchdogs, I am gonna use this...wait for it... (walks up the stairs and pulls back a sheet revealing the finished disintegrator) ...my disintegtator! Dun dun duuuuun!
(Wander and Sylvia gulp. Lord Hater walks over to the disintegrator, activates it, and it targets Wander and Sylvia)
Lord Hater: After I fire the disintegrator, you two will be blasted into nothing but dust! Thus sending you to the most hated planet in the sky! And as an added bonus, since Westley is back with us, I'm gonna let him do the honors!
(The Watchdogs cheer, Wander and Sylvia gasp in horror)
Lord Hater: Everybody, stand back! Except the prisoners.
(The Watchdogs back up, Lord Hater, Peepers and Westley walk up the stairs)
Lord Hater: Any last words?
Wander: Well...I just wanted to say... (breaking down, in tears) I always liked you, Westley! Since we first met...I knew we'd be friends sooner or later!
Sylvia: I'd have to agree with him, Westley, you were the best...ley!
Wander/Sylvia: You really were the best-ley!!! (sob)
(Lord Hater and Peepers are stunned, but Westley was touched)
Lord Hater: Yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever. Go ahead, Private Westley, fire the disintegrator and turn those two to dust!
Westley: (pauses, sadly) Yes, sir.
(Westley walks up to the disintegrator and, after a few moments of resist, presses the big red "fire" button on the disintegrator's control panel. Extreme close up of the ray, it starts to light up green)
Watchdogs: 10! 9! 8!
(Lord Hater rubs his hands together)
Watchdogs: 7! 6!
(Peepers watches eagerly)
(Wander and Sylvia cringe)
(Close up on Westley as he has a few inner thoughts)
Wander: (in Westley's head) I know Westley's our friend and all, but...it's been just a few months since he first befriended us and became a space traveler, like me!
Sylvia: (in Westley's head) Why, yeah! He's really nice, of course! And of course, he's really cute.
Wander: (in Westley's head) OH, WESTLEY, WHY DID YOU HAVE TO GO?! AFTER ALL THOSE DAYS, YOU DECIDED TO GO BACK TO...HIM?! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS, WHY DID YOU?!
Watchdogs: 3! 2! 1!
(During this, the ray on the disintegration totally begins to fire. Westley stares for a moment, before pulling a switch, turning the disintegrator off. The Watchdogs gasp; so do Wander, Sylvia, Peepers and Lord Hater)
Lord Hater: What the -- Westley, what did you do?!
Lord Hater: Huh? What'd you say?
Lord Hater: I beg your pardon?
Westley: NO! I'm NOT gonna disintegrate them!
Lord Hater: But -- but why? You've rejoined us!
Westley: Of course, I rejoined you, but this shouldn't have been made in the first place! (walks up to Wander and Sylvia, who smile) These two are, what you call them, "cunning, devious tricksters", but I totally disagree! Ever since you sent me on that mission to capture Wander and Sylvia, I've spent more time with them than with you! They've showed me something I didn't have in my heart, and that is friendship.
Wander: Westley, you do care!
Westley: (to Lord Hater) As for you, all you do is send us to do horrible things to upset the universe!
Lord Hater: But Westley, you've been working with us for years! We're your friends!
Peepers: Yeah, you're like our bestest Watchdog yet! We even gave you a medal! (holds up his leftover medal)
Westley: (mocking) Oh, yes, I've been working with you! Well, that is absolutely not true, Lord Hater! You guys are NOT my friends, in fact, you were NEVER my friends! (walks to Wander and Sylvia) But these two, are my real friends. (frees them from their handcuffs) They always have been my friends, and they always will be. (hugs them)
Lord Hater: How DARE you speak to my most hated ones! Peepers, send them back to prison!
Peepers: Right away, sir! (starts to run but Westley stops him)
Westley: Not so fast! I am NOT gonna let anything happen to them from this point onward!
Lord Hater: But -- Westley --
Westley: As for your army, whom you trust will do anything to harm anyone, especially Wander and Sylvia... (takes off his lightning bolt hat and throws it to the ground in anger) I quit! (slides it up to Lord Hater) Consider myself: Done for good.
Lord Hater: No!!! Westley, don't!!!
Westley: Too bad! (To Wander and Sylvia) Come on, let's go.
(Wander and Westley board Sylvia, who sets off)
Lord Hater: Stop! No!
Wander/Sylvia/Westley: Later, Hater!!! (laugh, exit)
(Pause, sad music plays)
Lord Hater: Well...I guess we really did lose Westley after all. (sniff) He definately was...one of us!!! (bawls, runs away)
(The Watchdogs start crying as well)
Peepers: (sighs) I'll get the statue. (walks off)
(Cut to a sunset on Wander's home planet. Pan downwards to Wander, Westley and Sylvia)
Sylvia: What a view.
Wander: I'd agree, you too, Wes?
Westley: Yeah. I'm sorry about what happened earlier, guys. I shouldn't have followed Lord Hater in the first place. I should've stuck to you, in fact, you're not cunning, devious tricksters at all.
Wander: No, we're not, Westley. No, we're not.
Westley: In fact, you're actually happy, silly space travelers, like what I said.
Wander: Maybe happy, friendly space travelers is the best.
Sylvia: Best happy, friendly space travelers.
Wander: Oh! Almost forgot! (reaches into his hat, pulls out Westley's star hat) I've been saving this. (gives it to him)
Westley: (puts his star hat back on) Thanks, guys, (hugs them)
(Song: Back Together)
Wander: ♪ When you have a friend so really near ♪
♪ You would never want them to disappear ♪
♪ I'm so glad you made it back ♪
♪ Seems like you were on the right track ♪
Westley: ♪ Now that I am here, life's not a bore ♪
♪ I am here to stay forevermore ♪
Wander/Westley: ♪ Best friends for forever ♪
♪ Now, we're back together ♪
Wander: ♪ Time to let our friendship really soar ♪
Sylvia: ♪ Don't need a rain cloud to break our day ♪
♪ Just need another someone to shine it away ♪
♪ We've missed you for oh, so long ♪
♪ Now that you're back, I wanna sing this song ♪
Wander: ♪ We've been waiting for you for such a long time ♪
♪ Now you've returned, it's time to unwind ♪
♪ Best friends back together ♪
♪ Always friends forever ♪
♪ Friends for always and even whatsoever ♪
It's the medal of friendship!
All: Best friends!
♪ Back together, missed you so much ♪
♪ Back together, used to feel so rough ♪
Sylvia: ♪ It's been so long ♪
Wander: ♪ Yet things were fraught ♪
Westley: ♪ But now, I'm back with you ♪
♪ I gave it all I got ♪
All: ♪ Friends forever are there to help ♪
♪ No need to cry or scream or yelp ♪
♪ We'll always be friends forever ♪
♪ Right now we're back together ♪
♪ Best friends forevermore ♪
(Sylvia trots off into the sunset, iris out on her)