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The Irony

Woybff:This is the place.

Homestar:*rings Dr.Screwball's door bell*

Sunil:What if he tickles us?

Homestar:I don't know.

Woybff:*starts shouting across the road*

Sunil:This again.

Homestar:Hey, it's fine to have a rival.

Woybff:(When will I be forgiven?)

Screwball:Get in.

Woybff:*walks in with Sunil and Homestar behind*

Homestar:(whispers) I'm scared Screwball will tickle my non-canon toes.

Sunil:(whispers) I'm scared too.

Screwball:Sit down.

Woybff:*sits down on a couch with Homestar*

Sunil:*sits in a rocking chair* *rocks*

Screwball:So you came here because I'm the father, you are right. I am the father of Zora Clauncey Jones.

Woybff:Where did Clauncey come from?

Homestar:I picked out the middle name since he couldn't think of the one. I wanted to be sorta like a god father or uncle.

Screwball:That he was. When I picked a god father and mother. I choose the people who give me this child so they could still see her.

Homestar:So, can I still see her?

Screwball:*laughs* No. Oh, the irony.

Woybff:Then where is she?

Screwball:Well Woybff...

(flash back)

Screwball:Say doctor. *points to himself*

Zora:*looks confused*

Screwball:Maybe that's too hard. *gets a ball* Ball.

Zora:*looks confused*

Screwball:So what to do this the hard way? *fires the tickle machine at her* Say tickle. *laughs*

Zora:*cries*

Screwball:*moans* Well it's good someone who knows more parenting than I. *goes to a doctor with Zora*

Doctor:Hello Screwball and Zora, what is the problem?

Screwball:My 24 month old child won't speak at all.

Doctor:Anything else?

Screwball:Well she sometimes doesn't look at me when I say her name. That's about it.

Doctor:How social is she?

Screwball:Kids need to social?

Doctor:Okay, skipping that one. Does she like to be cuddled or hugged by you.

Screwball:She has never done that.

Doctor:Last question, does she have meltdowns?

Screwball:Yes. Sometimes she cries at night, I do nothing about that.

Doctor:Okay, she is autistic and you are a bad parent.

Screwball:What?

Doctor:You or the child?

Screwball:Zora. What do you mean?

Doctor:Zora has autism.

Screwball:What should I do?

Doctor:Send her way or give her back to who had her before.

Screwball:So why did you give me the childhood again?

Marzipan:There's this creepy guy that lives in my town. His name is Coach Z, and I never want that child to met him and say to me. "Mommy, that guy is awesome. I think I want to play in his locker room." Could you image that?

Screwball:Goodness. Well I know what I'm doing in the morning. Back Marzipan. *hangs out*

(three days later)

Homestar:Hey, where's Zora. I brought her a blue mouse puppet. Her name is Misty. Do you think she'll like it, Screwball?

Screwball:She's gone?

Homestar:She's gone to sleep, and she's not back yet. Is that what you mean?

Screwball:No, she's really not here.

Homestar:No. *cries* Why, why, why did you send her way?

Screwball:Zora has autism, Homestar. You won't know anything about the disoder.\

Homestar:*cries* *runs away*

Screwball:*points the Misty puppet in her room* *cries*

(flash back over)

Woybff:Can I see her room?

Screwball:Yeah. All her toys are in there. All the caregivers sent it back, saying she doesn't like it. I even get one on the day I met her. March 9th, 2001.

Sunil:That's six days after she was born.

Homestar:Yeah, we saved her when she was a day old. She probably doesn't remember me.

Screwball:*cries* Get out. Call this number.

Homestar, Sunil, and Woybff:*exits the house*

Woybff:*sobs*

Sunil:Frick (X20)

Homestar:*calls the number* Hello?

Zora:Daddy, the one with no arms?

Homestar:Hey, do you remember me.

Zora:*cries*

Homestar:*looks across the street* Oh crap.

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